Bits & Pieces

It's all good...

2009-02-03T18:24:00.001-08:00

But I do believe I am done here.

Yeah. I know.

2008-12-23T10:54:00.000-08:00

I swear to God. When I logged onto this blog, cobwebs flew out, the hinges creaked and a dust bunny rolled past.

Actually, this is a crying fucking shame but I had to go find my log in info. Damn. I suck.

Really, I know I say it every time but things are really settled in for us here. No drama. Good times. A lot of love..... Mostly things are very scheduled. That's the way kids like it. The way we like it. Structure and knowing what to expect. It seems to be working for us.

I suppose I could start off with the really bad news. Our Nino (my husband's beloved grandmother) passed away on election day. We were just out to see her the Sunday before. She had this sudden moment of clarity, it lasted for quite a few minutes. It was like a cloud lifted and she knew us, knew everything and had some special things to say to us. It was glorious and I will hold the words in my heart forever. But most importantly she asked to go to Heaven. Heaven. Please.

We weren't expecting her to go just like that but it is what she wanted. And what she has wanted for a long time. So, we had to let her go, and be happy for her. It was so hard and heart breaking but really, we just tried to "celebrate" her passing as it was what she wanted. We still miss her immensely and our world will never be the same with out our Nino.

Ah, that sucked.

Okay.

On to the kids. My first baby (Big Sis) turned 7 on the 20th. SEVEN!!! Wow. I cannot believe it. She had a super fab birthday. And shared everything with Baby Sis. It was a very nice day and she had a blast.

Baby Sis is LOVING school. She had a couple rough mornings where she cried and didn't want to stay. Whew, that was rough and it broke my heart. I so wanted to snatch her up and run back home with her, but I know this Pre K program is the very best thing for her. After those couple rough mornings she settled right in and she adores going to school. Thankfully no drama and problems. I know the readers (if I still have any, lol) from the old blog will probably remember all the problems we had with that other pre-k school Big Sis went to. What a fucking hot mess that place was and it still chaps my ass at all the bullshit my kid went through. Gah. This school really is the best in the area and I am so happy with it!! It made all the difference in the world. I wish I could have had a do-over and send Big Sis there. Oh, well. Her Kindergarten teacher made up for all of that and she had a great start at elementary school I am going to request, (beg and plead) that Baby Sis get the same teacher when she goes next year... (crossing fingers).

So, Big Sis is in 1st grade, now and she is doing very well. All of the studies come easy to her. The reading and math, just effortless for her. She needs to work on her penmanship and keep her messy ass desk clean, but other than that she is sailing along.

It's weird (and sort of random) but both of our kids are left handed. Neither one of us are and no one in the immediate family is, but both of our kids are. Strange. I don't think it's hereditary???

Um, let's see.

Work. It is going very well. It took me a while to adjust to working in the mornings. I am SO not a morning person. But it's is awesome to go in and get the work out of the way then get to be with the family. I was getting to the point where I fucking hated going in at 5 pm. Getting back home at 9 pm. It was suck ass. I love being home in the evening. I am so lucky I only work 3 hours in the mornings! I take Big Sis to school, then I drop off baby Sis at her preschool which is right next to my job. Go in from 9-12 then pick up Baby Sis, go home for a couple hours then go back out and pick up Big Sis. It's a lot of running around but it works out fine. Next year it will be a lot easier because both of them will be at the same school. I will probably work until about 2 pm and get a couple extra hours in.

I am most likely going to have to take the summer off. I don't know what else to do. My husband is still running the mobile service so when his phone rings he is out working. This will suck because I have worked my ass off building a clientele and I will lose some if I have to be out for any length of time. Crap.

Hmmm... lets see.

We still have a amazing number of pets. We love them all endlessly. Not sure if I mentioned it, but this time last year I rescued a Chinese Crested dog. A female that was abandoned at the SPCA. This lady (a client) adopted her because she felt sorry for her and the poor dog had sat in a cage for over 30 days. No one wanted her. She is just like an old lady. Fat, ugly, totally bald, wrinkled and bumpy. I love her with all my heart.

The only catch was she wasn't house broken!!! I was so pissed because I asked that FIRST and was told she was. Um, noooo... she pissed dinner plate sized spots on our fucking carpet. We had to literally housebreak a 6 year old dog! It was a bitch, but we got it done. She was worth it though. She is a great dog. I think she is in love with my husband. He calls her his "other wife" ....and believe me, she OWNS his ass!

This time last year we also took in another chinchilla. I had a male for almost 2 years and a friend of mine came over saw how cool Louis was and decided to get one for her 9 year old daughter. Um, no. Not a good idea. They are nothing like bunnies. Chinchillas are exotic! They need a lot of special care etc. They are super delicate. And you have to handle them with care and respect because one bad experience and they never forget it! They are hella cool though, their fur is incredible. They are so soft and luxurious you pet them and you can barely feel them. They are just amazing to the touch.

ANYWAY...

This friend quickly realized that chinchillas are not for kids. Especially when the kid "plays" with the poor thing by letting it out of the cage and then chasing it, catching it, releasing it, then chasing it some more. Fuck. Can you imagine? So, after 2 weeks of that abuse, the chinchilla was just wild with fear and they couldn't even get him out of the cage anymore. She called and asked if I wanted him. Cage and all. I looked it up and I found out that you can keep 2 males together, so, I said yes, we'd take him. I introduced the two and they really liked each other so I set them up in the same cage.

About 7 months later I looked in the cage and saw two baby chinchillas. Both dead :( I seriously could not believe what I was seeing. But yes. They had two babies and they both died! Bummer. Not sure what happened. I was more in shock that they bred. I really did think Loius was a male! And I have heard getting chinchillas to breed is not easy.

Anyway, we figured it might happen again so we started watching closely and sure enough Louis looked preggers. She had another baby. Just one this time. We decided to keep her and we named her Snoopy. ADORABLE!!! I cannot bear to separate the two chinchillas they are very bonded and are like a little married couple. Plus they raised this baby together, it was really neat to watch the two of them and the baby. I bought another cage for Snoopy, because after a few months Smokie will "forget" who she is ...and well, you know.

I suppose the two will have more babies and we'll sell them. It is not easy to get chinchillas to breed and their gestation is 111 days. Plus they usually only have 2 babies at a time. So, the babies will sell for $200 each! I can deal with that. Of course, I'd like to keep them all but really, I can't give any more time and attention to more than just Louis and Snoopy. Smokie, although we have given him a lot of TLC, he really does not want to be handled, so we leave him be for the most part and just give him a chin scratch or handshake once in a while.

OOOKAY! See? Really exciting stuff, right? Ha!

Turtle Stones (my jewelry making venture) has stalled. Really, I made a lot of jewelry and I sold a lot. I still have a lot and quite a bit of supplies etc. Just not sure what I want to do about any of it.

Celebrity Rant is doing great. I love to work on it everyday. The newer/current format is a lot more fun for me to post about. I mean, I don't really get into too much and the posts are usually quite simple, but I enjoy doing it and judging by the stat counter a LOT of other people seem to enjoy it too. It's growing everyday and I am getting more and more sponsors, so it pays to do the site. Awesome, right?

We don't have any huge plans for the holidays. Just simple stuff. I am off work from now until Jan 5th. Tomorrow, we are going to make sugar cookies and decorate them... a batch of fudge and a cherry cheesecake (it's my holiday contribution) for dinner at Moms. We open our Christmas presents (under the tree) tomorrow late afternoon. Then Santa comes. Christmas afternoon we go over to my Moms and eat dinner.

So, that is about it. If you are still reading (and not fast asleep with your forehead pressed against the monitor) I would like to wish you all...

Happy Holidays!!!

Eat, drink and be merry. Drive carefully and have lots of good, fun sexy times.

Love to you all!!!

Peace!

All is well and good....

2008-08-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

Well...
Both my babies went to school today.

And, it was a whole lot easier than I expected. A lot of hassle actually getting them to their classes but the waterworks, emotional outbursts and mental breakdowns were kept to a minimum.

Speaking for myself.

The girls took it like champs.

It was amazing, really.

In fact, Baby Sister totally dissed me when I came to pick her up. Said she wanted to stay. Take a nap with the rest of the class... Said she wanted to "live" there at the school.

Okay. Wtf.

Made me feel awful.

I woulda felt better if she ran screaming and crying to me. But nope....

She is too damn well adjusted.

So, I guess we have done a good job here. All that talking. Preparation.

Of course, I have yet to pick up the first grader and hear how her day went.

I am hoping for the best.

Ha.

I am outta here.

**UPDATE**

Big Sis had a great/excellent/awesome first day too... Yes!

Both kids scarfed down their dinner ....it's about 9pm and I do believe they are BOTH crashed out.

Awesome.

Pea Shout.

Brace yourself, it's a long one!

2008-08-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

Finally. I am going to sit down and do a little update.

Don't get too excited. Not much is going on these days. It's not that fun stuff doesn't happen, it does. And even the silly and ridiculous stuff. And I still get pissed off about all the same crap. I just never get the time to sit down and write like I used to. You'd think I'd have a little more time now that the girls can sort of entertain themselves but I don't. They still suck me dry, waiting on them hand and foot. Not to mention, someone has to play Barbies with them. Jeesh.

So, Baby Sister is GOING TO PRESCHOOL!!!! OMG! I am freaking out. If you have been a reader from back in the day, well, I'm sure you'll remember all the issues and bullshit when Big Sister was in her preschool. Man, I was thinking back on all of that stuff and it really was horrible. So, this time I did my homework and I have found the most perfect school in the area. In fact they have the highest rated VPK program in the county! Hell yes! Not only do they have one certified teacher for the class but TWO! No teacher and a assistant like most of the schools but two teachers. Love that!

They use a curriculum and even teach Spanish! Most of the schools just have a loose schedule and do whatever. They are going to actually teach the kids. Doing sight words, circle time etc. She gets to eat breakfast and lunch.... She'll go from 9am to 12pm. Big Sis will go from 9:50 to 2:50. So, I am going to have some running around to do as they'll go to different schools until next year.

Baby Sis says she does NOT want to go to school. But she knows she has to. Told her it's the RULE! I took her in there the other day for a visit and she was impressed by all the stuff. Very excited. They have a big kitchen setup just like a real kitchen and that is one of her favorite things to play. I had to practically drag her out of there. It was really cool too, because all the little girls were so nice and friendly they wanted to include her and play with her ...it was cute! Baby Sis was very overwhelmed but I could tell she was loving it. It's going to be hard because she's never been away from me. No baby sitter... no daycare... it's going to be rough on both of us, :(

Big Sis had an amazing year of Kindergarten. She did fabulous, her teacher absolutely loved her and I could not have been more pleased with the school, her teacher and the entire experience. It was great. I was so worried because I knew, after her rough year of PreK that this kindergarten experience would set the tone... Amazingly enough everything went along wonderfully and she is excited to start first grade. And even better? Her new teacher/class is right next door to her Kindergarten teachers class! So, she will get to see her every day and she is comfortable and familiar with the area.

So, that's the kiddie update. Told ya... nothing too exciting these days.

Hmmm... what else?

All the pets are doing well. I acquired another chinchilla. A friend of mine came over, saw my chinchilla and loved him. So, she went out and bought one for her 9 year old daughter and named him Smokey. Not a good idea.

Chinchillas are exotic, delicate and not a good choice for a young kid to have. She told me her daughter would let him out of the cage and chase him. That's how she was "playing" with him! Needless to say, the poor thing was totally freaked out and they couldn't handle him. So, they gave him to me.

I did my research and found out that you can keep two males together... as long as there are no females in heat (around) they will get along great and enjoy each others company. So, I put him in with my precious Louis (after a introductory period) and they got along well. I did notice Smokey tried to hump on Louis a couple of times. Louis seemed suitably offended by it. In any event, they are super cute, they cuddle and groom each other.

So, they were together about 7 months and one morning I heard funny noises coming from the cage. I didn't think too much about it because they do make strange little sounds. After a while I went over and looked in and I could not believe my eyes. There were two baby chinchillas in the bottom of the cage! Sadly, they were dead. I was heart broken. I believe that Smokey may have killed them. You can keep chins together after a litter and they usually don't kill the babies... but for some reason he did. Or maybe Louis did it??

I had no idea that Louis was female! The pet store dude said he was a male. I even looked at him myself and he looked like a boy. After going on line and looking at pictures you can tell the difference by pushing on the um, er.. area. If it's a male the penis pops out. We had noticed Smoke was sporting a big one and at first we teased Louis because he didn't have much down there. Guess not, he's a she! Anyway, we noticed them "doing it" a couple of nights ago. Damn, they hooked it up for a long ass time. A long time. I teased hubby and said, Look at that... Smokey lasted longer than you, Ha!

Speaking of sexy times. Hubby and I have been having lots of fun these days. We went skinny dipping in the pool last weekend. Yes, we have a 6 foot stockade fence and it was dark. And late. It was FUN. We felt like teenagers again. The only reminder of any adulthood was the baby monitor's little red glow. I have to credit some of the fun (these days)to the fact that we are indulging in a little booze here and there. What a blast!

It's funny because we actually never used to touch booze. I was never much of a drinker.... and hubby felt over the whole drinking thing after he came out of his last relationship. So, we abstained all these years, until one night he called me at work on my cell and told me to bring him home a beer. I was like, wtf? Are you serious??? He was. So, I did and we have been having a blast ever since. I never much enjoyed drinking in the past but the two of us are loving it. I guess it really does make a different who you party with, right? LOL....

I am still cutting hair. Did the evening shift for the past year and I have to say... HATED IT! Just sucked ass to work around the house all day.... It'd get to be about 3 in the afternoon, I'd finally take a break sit down... then realize I have to hang out for a couple more hours then go to work... I was gone from 5 to 9 in the evenings. What a drag! Of course the girls would beg me to stay home, call in... it sucked.

So, I am changing my schedule to mornings! I am so happy! Perfect! I will get Big Sis to her class by quarter to 9, then drop Baby Sis off at her school which is conveniently located directly behind the salon I work at! I swear... things could not have worked out any better. I am going to be working while the girls are at school. Only 3 hours a morning but I think it'll be a nice change and hopefully I'll make more $. We don't do many chemical services at night just mostly hair cuts... Of course colors and perms cash out at a lot more.

The plan is for me is to do this year at the salon and I am hoping next year I can go back to school. I would LOVE to be able to do something at home... maybe on the computer... maybe medical transcription?? Ya hear me Beej? Ha! I need info.

Okay... what else..... Celebrity Rant is doing great. I did change the format. I took a lot of crap from a few readers about it. They wanted that old stuff back. Serious. I was so fucking bored doing it every day though... But some people did enjoy the trivia etc. But it was a downer as I started to notice the same group of people would literally sit there and hit the site as soon as I published and answer all the trivia, guess who's etc. Boring! So, I've made it more current. And just kind of basic. I enjoy it. And the traffic had grown steadily ...in fact I'd have to say it has quadrupled!

My poor Turtle Stones jewelry site. I just don't know what to do about it. I am not selling much... maybe becasue I haven't promoted it much? I dunno. I've kind of dropped the ball on it for the moment.

This past week I have been building things back up... getting myself back to where I was a long time ago. I guess I hit a rough spot there for a while and I was kind of at loose ends or something. I was feeling kind of blah...

You know the economy fucking sucks right now and it's hard to take a step down and not go out spending cash and living freely like we used to. Everyone has has to batten down the hatches, I know it's not just us ...but it sucks! This country has been run into the fucking ground and I pray that we can build it back up.

I wanted to sell our house at the end of the year and buy a bigger one. Well, guess what? It ain't happening. Not for us and not for a lot of other people out there right now. It's tough and it sucks. But overall I am happy that we are all together, healthy and whole.

I hope all of you out there are doing well and that you guys are as blessed as we are. Feel free to holla at me... my email is always open. And of course I am still reading you guys. Never stopped reading. Just had a little writers block. I'll try harder.

If you are a new reader... feel free to say hi and leave a comment.

I think I hear a chicken tender sammich calling my name.

So, I am outta here! Just. Like. That.

OMG!

2008-06-25T08:17:00.000-07:00

Has it really been this long? I'll have to do an update. Nothing too exciting. All is well in my world. As always.

Stay tuned and I'll be back...

Shot through the heart...

2008-04-27T05:36:00.000-07:00

Cuddled up with my two girls on the love seat watching Classic 80's videos.

Of course a Bon Jovi video came on. I said to my girls, that guy was the cutest guy ever. Ever.

My 6 year old took one look and scoffed, "Momma. God. He is wearing a poncho. Ha."

Now in Jon's defense it was a leather vest. With fringe. Lots and lots of fringe. Okay. I see her point. I laughed.

She asks, "What's his name again?" I said.... Jon Bon Jovi

She says, "Nuh uh... It's Jon Bon Poncho!" This gets the 4 yr old going, "Poncho Ponnnncho... Poncho Boy!"

So, there I was...... being taunted by my kids. Well, actually Jon was. I'm sure he can take it.

RIP Boogie Rat

2008-04-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

Boogie our pet rat died today. Of old age. If you want to call it that. They really don't make it far in this thing called life.

I remember the day I went and chose him out of the "live feeders" box. He was destined (at the age of only 3 weeks of life) to become snake food. I brought him home and bottle fed him until he was able to eat seeds and then he was able to eat everything. He loved all kinds of snacks and junk food. He was a rat after all.

He grew big and strong and his favorite thing in the world was eating pizza crust and having the side of his face scratched.

I loved him immeasurably and I will miss him wholeheartedly. Yeah. I know. He was a rat. But he was Fierce.

Right now he is resting comfortably under our big old pine tree out back. Safely sealed in a Chivas Reagal tin. An excellent Scotch and THE finest rat ever.

I am going to go drown my sorrow now.

We are outta here.

Let's be honest here...

2008-03-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

The Easter Bunny scares the living shit out of my kids. Seriously.

How comfortable would you be knowing that as soon as you fall into a vulnerable (unprotected) sleep, a 6 foot rabbit is going to waltz into your front door and leave shit. You hope.

Nope. No happy thoughts about that.

So, in a moment of sheer desperation I had a stroke of genius.

I told those believing, trusting children that if they were not "comfortable" with the Easter Bunny just walking in, that Daddy would email him, asking him to leave the shit outside the front door. I said the bunny would text me, we'd go out and get the shit and bring it in for them. That is.... ONLY IF they GO TO SLEEP with no fucking crap and hell raising tonight.

Thank God for modern technology and bribery.

Ha. So.

That totally covers our ass if we ever get caught setting that shit up...

"Hey, we just brought it inside"

AND it eases their fragile little minds.

Yup. Parents of the Year.

Paranormal or not so?

2008-03-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

Ha!

The question of the day: How are our house guests?
I don't know.

Still. I am out on this one.

I really just do not know.

Things quieted down for a while. She stopped talking about the "shadows." I asked her a couple weeks ago, in a very casual manner if the shadows were gone. She said yup. Earlier this week she acted like she didn't want to do her quiet time. I sent her in for nap time and a while later I asked her why she didn't want to take her nap. Well, she launched into the "shadow" thing. She told me that the "boy shadow" is STILL here. That he never did leave. That he "doesn't listen" to her when she tells him to go away.

Gah.

Now I know that this could all be a figment of her imagination. That she might just have too much time on her hands now that her sissy is in school all day. And often she plays in her room instead of napping. Of course we leave her door open and the hall light on. Things she insist that we do. I don't make her sleep, but I do give her a couple of hours of down time.

Okay. As you know I don't really truly believe in any of this. Simply because I am not convinced. I have never personally witnessed anything with my own two eyes that tells me otherwise.

So, whenever I am challenged in life I go out to find answers. I am a problem solver. I want a solution. Always. I want to figure it out and then fix it. Whatever it may be.

I went online and read about a lot of stuff. Of course I know that you cannot believe everything you read. I actually believe about nothing of what I read. But hey, that's just me.

I might have mentioned that when she first spoke of shadows, I had no clue that people reported seeing shadows. I never heard anything before. It was always the misty see through version of the ghost that I had heard of. What my daughter was describing was totally different. So, I put in a Google search....

Simply put: child sees shadows in her room

Well, let me tell you... there are thousands of hits and info on shadow people. Tons. And everything was detailed to almost exactly what my kid was saying. I know. WTF? Exactly. How would she be able to tell me these details? And have them match? Perfectly.

The scary stuff? "Shadow people" are usually not the nice sort of visitors. They are usually mean spirited. Pun intended. In fact while my daughter says it's a little boy, it could in fact be an "adult" tricking her because it is a nasty mean fucker. Or was. Or is. Or fuck. I don't know. Trying to gain her trust.

Don't look at me like that. I know. It's crazy. I am just telling you what I've read.

So....

I also started watching these shows. I am so into self torture. I am. I started watching Paranormal State. I kinda like the Ryan guy because his voice is sexy. I know. Shut up.

Anyhoo...

Then I moved onto Ghost Hunters and Scary Stuff

They have LOTS of crap to give you the creeps. And all the stuff they say comes right back around to what is happening (or not happening) here. Trust me, I have spent many a night awake. Looking and listening. Carefully. And so far? Nada. Thankfully.

I think I'd have a fucking heart attack if I saw or heard anything. Sometimes I do get a weird feeling but I work myself up to it. Plus I am reading the latest Stephen King novel Duma Key and for the first time (in several of his latest works) he is actually kind of scaring me. I always appreciate him. He is the man after all. The greatest. My husband bought me a signed portrait of him and I just about pee myself thinking that I actually own something (under glass, of course) that he TOUCHED! *squee* !!!

Anyway.... The last book he wrote that scared me was Salems lot. But this one is very creepy. I had to stop reading it last night. Another thing that always happens is that I am the last to fall asleep. Every night. That is, unless I drink a little vodka without the Red Bull. So I lay there. My mind racing.

Shit. Now where was I?

Those shows... On one episode of Ghost Hunters they had a "shadow haunting" in a child's room. Two sisters (just like here) where only one "saw" the shadows (just like here) and the other did not. When the child was asked about what the shadows did... she said they "played ring around the rosie."

OMG! I got the chills.

My daughter said she and the "boy shadow" play the exact same game. Yes. This is not a game her and her sister play. But she said she plays it with the shadow boy. Man. Weird. Of all the games in the world. THAT one. And the same one the other shadows play.

Sound crazy? Yes. Try having some of the conversations I've had then tell me how crazy you feel.

This "game" is weird. The words are weird. So I googled it. This is what I found:

Ring around the rosie,
A pocket full of posies,
Ashes! Ashes!
We all fall down!

More about this song

Many music historians feel this song has its roots in the bubonic plague that swept through Europe. It was somewhat macabre, with references to a rosie ring (infection), posies (which supposedly warded off infection), and the cremation that was performed on those who died to prevent the spread of the disease. And you thought it was just a fun little rhyme!

And on that note, I am outta here.

Isn't it ironic?

2008-03-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball.

Just to see what the future holds.

But mostly I am careful what I wish for.

So neglected....

2008-03-01T07:45:00.000-08:00

This poor little blog here. I never grace it with my words much anymore.

No reason. I guess I am keeping busy in other ways. I've noticed so many others that started blogging at about the same time have stopped. Or slowed way down. I just don't have too much to say.

I remember being a teenager and keeping a Diary. Back then we scribbled in notebooks. Looking back I usually wrote when I was pissed off. In my teenage angst. Oh, the drama. Now nonexistent. Thank goodness.

I do keep Celebrity Rant going. In fact I've changed the format. Doing all current stuff. I actually enjoy doing it now. I was getting so bored with the old way. It was honestly the same old same old. The blog was not growing as it should. After 3 years? Should have more traffic. I mean, I did have quite a lot of readers but not many new ones. I started doing the current stuff and my traffic tripled already. In a month.

It got to be such a drudge going back over and doing the "answers" and the reveal pics. Just the same crap. I know a lot of people liked it. Wanted me to keep it like that. But frankly it was boring. To me and I am sure to others. Plus the same exact people would jump on it and answer all the trivia questions. I got tired of that. It was like a couple people would check it every second, as soon as I posted/published they'd have the answers up. Literally. I'd post then I'd have email. Instantly. No fun for anyone else.

So. Yeah.

Turtle Stones? Dammit. I don't know. I put some stuff on ebay. Those new wire wrapped stones. They are kinda cool. I really like them and they look different than anyone else's. Still. I only sold one. And for half the price it should have went for. I am at a loss of how to market it. I love making the jewelry and I don't want to stop ....but hello? It needs to sell. Even a little bit. I did have some success a while back. I traded jewelry with some popular blogs to place my ad... it worked for a while but they pulled my ad sooner than was agreed. What a rip. Oh well, bad Karma to them.

So, Yeah.

The kids are doing great. The 6 yr old is doing so well in school. So different than that Pre K crap. Remember all that trouble and bullshit? Gah.

My baby is about to be 4 years old!! On Monday. Man. I can't believe it. Already. She wants a "dancing" doll. Shit. I don't think I can find one. I looked for a ballerina doll etc. and came up empty handed. Anyone have any ideas? Anyone still reading? haha.

Work is good. No complaints. Hubby's business is growing and growing. Getting busier. Making a lot of cash. Which helps. 'Cause we got a lot of bills :)

Hubby's dad and wife came for a visit last weekend. From New York. I love them.... they are awesome. They want us to move up there. I would in a New York minute. Hubby, not so much. Oh well.

I might baby sit a baby on Thursday. Babies love me. It was fun to get my hands on a little one. MUAH! Although I miss those squishy little times, I am glad my kids can piss and shit all by themselves these days. It is like a dream come true.

And I am outta here. Just. Like. That.

Gimme Whore

2008-02-08T09:18:00.000-08:00

My daughters 4 (almost) and 6 years old are thoroughly disgusted by Britney's ass. Every time the news has a bit on Brit Brit they scream in disgust at that video clip the news always plays of Britney on the pole shaking her ass. They say "Momma! Ew! Lookit! Britney's butt is hanging out!" and next, "WHY??"

Well, kids. It's complicated. I explained that Britney does not make good choices. That she does not listen to her parents (wink wink) and that she does things like that because she needs attention and not the good type of attention. I also explained that she is in the hospital (not anymore) trying to get better.

I am glad that my kids are grossed out by Britney's ass. And that they know the difference.

Personally, I rather enjoy Britney's ass. God. I hope my kids take after their father.

Things that go bump....

2008-01-25T08:04:00.000-08:00

Things have calmed down a lot. We quit talking about the shadows. We stopped letting them watch anything remotely creepy. With the exception of an occasional Scooby Doo show. Which Mandy loves to watch. It's her favorite. We just don't let her watch it around bedtime.

So, I am still out on whether there is anything here or not. I tend to believe (want to believe) that there is not. Of course it is entirely possible that she has the ability to draw these thing to her. It certainly goes along with any of the stuff you read up on out there.

I have always had a rather active imagination. If I watch a scary movie (to this day) right before bed, it will creep me out and I won't want to get out of bed to pee at night. Or close the bathroom door or even open my eyes in a dark room. So, I dunno. I love to torture myself with this stuff. I watch all those paranormal shows especially that new one on A&E. Look for ghost stuff online, watch those videos and look at photos. No wonder we get all creeped out around here.

Everything is going along fine. Keeping busy with work. I stopped working on the weekends. It's nice. I like it. Just go in a few nights a week. Every once in a great while I'll get a customer that is irrational and insane and it will remind me why I stopped doing hair in the past. But I get by.

Making jewelry again. Thinking of naming the store a different name. Can't come up with anything any good though. It's hard.

The hamster died rather unexpectedly. I have no idea why. I mean she was a little old but she seemed fine. It looked like she just curled up to sleep. Forever. It sucked. The girls took it really hard. I said no more hamsters but they were so sad. And I am such a sucker (I'll get more into that later) I decided to get them mice. That way they could each have one you can keep 2 together in one cage. Except when we looked at the mice they were so small and jumpy. Like, right out of your hands. I switched gears and decided to get them gerbils. I knew nothing about gerbils except they can be kept 2 to a cage also. Anyway we brought them home and man, are they ever cute! The girls named them Hannah and Daphne. They are so friendly. Adorable. I like them.

The sucker thing? Oh yes. I brought home another dog. I know. I KNOW. It was right before Christmas. This client said she had a Chinese Crested that needed a home. We already have a Chinese Crested and we simply love him. The story was, this dog had been bred and used for litter after litter and then given to another home after a couple years she then landed at the pound. This client adopted the dog keeping in mind that she just wanted to rescue her from the pound and find her a "real" home. The dog had been at the pound for over 30 days. That's a long time.

So, I took her.

Um, well... that's about it.

The plot thickens....

2008-01-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

Wanna know what she said yesterday?

"The twin boys are here. They have on green scrubby shirts with pink spots. They are not healthy and they make me feel so cold. Can I have another blankie?"

Real or imagined?

One thing for sure I am over it.

The jury is out...

2008-01-14T14:57:00.000-08:00

I just don't know.

I moved everything around switched the toy bins.... I have all of their stuff in different bins. So, if they want to play Barbies/Bratz, pull out a bin. Polly Dolls? Bin... My Little Ponies? Bin... I used to lump it all together in toy boxes but they never put all of the pieces together.

I know. So anal.

So, I thought maybe shadows were coming from there. The stack of bins. She says they (shadows) are still there. When she does we come in and banish them. Ha.... attention getting. But we can't ignore it OR make a fuss.

So, I've been thinking. Although I do believe there could be something and God know I've heard enough stories I just don't think we have anything here. That hasn't stopped me from being completely creeped out. Thanks kid. Every time I open my eyes in bed at night I think I am going to see something. Not a cool feeling. Hopefully I'll get over it.

After a lot of thinking.... We are considering that TV is playing a role in this. Although she did mention shadows a long time ago... plus she was actually "afraid" of her new big girl bed last summer... we are thinking that maybe this could be Scooby Doo related. She is totally obsessed with Scooby Doo. If you watch now or remember back... they have a lot of haunted stuff, creeping around corners, HUGE SHADOWS, ghosts... get the picture?

Plus there is some weird cartoon on Cartoon Network they were watching with a pink dog. I sat down to cuddle with her and started watching the show. I NEVER watch kid's shows. However this one held my attention which is a Red Flag, too grown up content for a 4 yr old. Anyway it was a pink dog and this old man and woman. Next thing ya know she (the old woman) is upstairs in her bed turning green with her head spinning around like the Exorcist. Um, nope. THAT will not be on again.

Since then we've had a lot of "I'm scared of creepy stuff..." talk. Nope, no more of that.

Today she was saying the shadows were there. I came in and sat down... then I got up and walked over to where she says they are, you can actually see a faint shadow of your own so I am guessing, hoping, that she is seeing her own shadow. I told her that.

Not sure she's buying it.

I also told her if she never watches anymore creepy stuff on TV that eventually it will leave her mind and she'll not think about that stuff anymore.

I think she believed it.

I want to believe it.

And then some....

2008-01-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

I think we may have a problem. I am so confused. And clouded. And I feel, oh, so ridiculous.

Really.

The shadow saga continues...

The next day after I banished said "shadow" children from the room. All was well. Nap time the next day rolled around. Mandy was in there about a half hour and said the "boy shadow" was in her room. So, I sent her father in. He went through the whole "shadow boy you are not welcome here please go to God, leave..." etc. He turned around to leave and he said (this is from my no nonsense husband) that a chill went up his back that was nearly physical.

So, a few minutes later she said he was still there. We both went back in and hubby flipped on the light. When he did, the one bulb facing us hissed, fizzled, got really bright then popped. Just like in the movies.

No shit.

So, he did it again ....the whole "leave" speech. In a calm, normal manner as if it is the most natural thing to do.

So, all was well. Then later that night Amanda burst into tears, the boy shadow was back again. We went in and calmed the situation. I kissed Brooke Lynne and turned to hug and kiss Amanda and I felt a tug on my sleeve. I did! I turned back around and Brooke Lynne was under her covers. Weird. I asked her if she is seeing these shadows (I've asked her if before about them and she said no) This time she said... "once" the girl shadow "crawled across" her bed and "tickled" her... she said she just "rolled over" and closed her eyes. That bothered me. Imagination? Or?

Now this morning we had a big blow out over getting dressed. Amanda refused to go into her room to get her clothes on. After a big fight and me practically dressing her she told me (after we got back from taking Sissy to school) that she was afraid to go get dressed because the "shadow" was in there. Now that could be an excuse... Or?

We are actually not making a big deal out of this shadow stuff to the kids. When she says the shadow is around we go and tell it to leave and it seems to leave. That's it.

However, this is not even funny. I am at a loss here.

I always felt that our house was peaceful and settled. I've never had a weird feeling before and we have lived here 7 years! I've been up all hours of the night when the girls were babies feeding them etc. Never had a thing happen.

In fact, I have always noted how comfortable our house actually is. We were in the process of buying another house that fell through right before we bought this one. That house, although I really liked it, and it had a lot of cool unique things to it, had a creepy feel. I often wonder if we would have ever been comfortable there.

So, we have been happy here. Happy to have our babies here. Even though we wanted to sell and move this summer we have to wait... the market has crashed and we can't sell right now.

This whole "thing" is bugging the hell out of me. I just can't tell if Amanda is just going through a phase or if she is actually attracting something. Really, I don't put much stock in the paranormal. But if you talk to people you would not believe the amount of ones that will tell you a story or two and the Internet is full of accounts. A lot of them very similar almost exactly the same as what is (supposedly)happening here.

Yikes. This sucks. Any ideas?

Do you see what I see?

2008-01-04T06:43:00.000-08:00

This is weird, but I am compelled to write about it.

Our house is a calm, comfy, clean, uncluttered and happy place. It has a "good" vibe. Nothing creepy here. In fact I don't put much stock in "ghost" talk. I, for one have never felt, seen or witnessed anything out of the ordinary. Not specifically anyway.

That said... we have a lot of "orbs" in our photos. Now some people will say it's a speck of dust and other people say it's something else.

Also, I see dead people. Okay. I said that for dramatics. Actually I see "stuff" out of the corner of my eye. When I look, it's gone. I mentioned it to my husband and he said he sees it too but he thought it was his new glasses. I went online and read a few pages about this type of thing. Basically it said if you see something out of the corner of your eye, it's true. You ARE seeing something.

Whatever.

And if your kid says they see something. They are.

For the longest time my youngest daughter has been talking about the "shadows" in her room. Yesterday she didn't want to stay in her room for her "quiet time". I asked her why? She said because of the shadows. I asked her if the shadows "move". Not only do they move, they "mess up" her room and they play ring around the rosie.

I sat down on her bed and I asked her if they had names or if they "talked" she said no, but that one is a girl who is nice and one is a boy who is not nice.

I asked her if they were in the room now. She said the girl was there but they said "bye" to each other and she left. I asked her if she wanted me to make them leave her room and not come back. She said yes. Feeling a little silly I said, out loud, "Okay, if there are any shadows here in this room Amanda would like you to leave. Please go home and do not come back. You are not allowed to be here. Amanda would like her quiet time to herself and she does not want to share her room with you. Please go away and do not come back."

Yes. I said that.

So far, so good.

I'll keep ya posted.

Oh, and Happy New Year!

Happy Holidays!!!

2007-12-24T10:40:00.000-08:00

Much love to each and everyone!

Yea!

2007-12-20T07:21:00.000-08:00

My baby is 6 years old today. Wow.

Six.

She is beside herself with excitement.

I took her to school today armed with ice cream, cookies and friendship bracelets to give out.

My Little Pony and Spiderman napkins.

Later after school grandma will stop by.

Her dinner request? Cheesy Enchilada Hamburger Helper.

I know. Gah! She loves it.

After? Popcorn and The Wizard of Oz.

The girls have never watched it. Yet. I hope those flying fucking monkeys don't scare them.

Or me. It's been a while.

And now I am off for a huge bowl of Cookie Crisp.

It's later than you think....

2007-12-16T04:31:00.001-08:00

Jeesh.

Over 2 weeks since I've posted? This is getting entirely out of hand here. I used to post almost every day in the "old" blog. Those were the days. I'd actually have something remotely entertaining to say back then.

It's not that anything has really changed. I honestly have to blame that damn old job. It sucks a good 20 hours out of my life every week. But I have to admit that I feel ever so much better working outside the home. In addition to the 10,000 jobs I do around here.

So, I am most definitely NOT going to let this blog die a slow and painful death. I am keeping it and I will keep on posting. It just won't be often nor anything very entertaining

....unless you want to hear about my dog's dick.

Now that was interesting.

I am about to walk out the door to finally go Christmas shopping. Brand new credit card in my hand. Itching to be maxed (hell yes, I maxed it right the fuck out too) and my husband yells, "Okay which one of you bastards pissed on my FLOOR!"

Now, I know he is not talking to one of our darling little girls because they haven't peed on the floor in well, days.

I see him grab up Taco (the wussiest chihuahua in the universe) and he says ""Uh, OH! We have a problem" I took one look and said, "Um, nope, Taco has the problem."

Taco's wiener was swollen triple it's "normal" size. With a big red cherry on it. It was so swollen that his pee hole was pushed to the back!

I said...
"There is only one thing to do..."

So, I gathered up my tools. No I am not a veterinarian but I slept at a Holiday Inn once, back in the 80's. It was gross and I was scared I caught bedbugs. Ew. I didn't, but the fear is still fresh in my mind.

I digress...

Actually I worked at a vet as a tech for a few years and although I have never personally done anything like this, I have held and watched. As a tech your job is to hold that animal STILL and if the vet gets bit your ass is grass. YOU can get bit and scratched and clawed, but not the vet. They are superior beings.

Once again, I digress.

Maybe because what I am about to tell you is so totally disgusting it made me swoon. This, coming from a chick that once sutured up a drunk guys hand for fun. Well, I mean he needed the stitches... When you tip over in a lounge chair by the pool with a beer in your hand well, that's why they post those signs

"NO GLASS IN THE POOL AREA"

And the best part? He let me pull the sutures out 10 days later (after a few bong tokes).

Anyway.

My husband held Taco down on the makeshift operating table. Amidst all of my tools of torture. I pulled on my rubber gloves, sterilized everything and pushed a needle into that red lump.

Dark blood poured out, then bright red. I pushed more out by sliding my finger from the base of the infection to the opening I made... after a while the blood got thick. Next came the puss then the um, er... well, I will call it cheese. *retch* That was hard to get out and write down.

*gag*

I probed around inside the opening with a Q-tip and made sure I had everything out. Poured peroxide on it. Sprayed it with Bactine. Antiseptic plus it numbs it.

Through it all Taco laid there and did not say a word. Taco is the wussiest dog in the universe. Once a candy wrapper blew off the table and landed on his back. He screamed like a girl and ran. This ridiculous little dog laid there and let me do all of that to a part of his tiny little body that was probably in excruciating pain for a day or so. I guess it was a day or so...It's not like we go around checking the dogs private areas, ya know?

Poor thing. My guess is that something bit him. Coulda been anything really, because we live in tropical exotic fucking Florida. Where it is still over 80 degrees and balmy in December!

And my husband? Well, he kept his head turned. After all, I was mutilating a penis and you know how men are about those.

So, luckily I have a bottle of antibiotics to give poor Taco.

Saved us a lot of money. Because trust me if that hadn't gone well, that shiny new credit card would have been used in a whole different way. Luckily I learned a lot while I was at the vet. And as you know we have an assload of animals.

So, I went out and did the Christmas shopping. Got the girls everything they wanted plus a bunch of cool stuff that will keep them busy playing and out of our hair
...that is until we have to break up the fights.

Santa is bringing a Baby Alive to Big Sis. She wants her doll to poop. I find this funny because I bought her a peeing doll last summer. You feed it juice and it pees. After a couple days she asked me for some training pants for the doll. Seems she wanted the doll to be a "big girl" and not pee it's pants anymore. C'mon. We all know she was just over changing it's diaper. Me too. Damn. I changed diapers (2 kids in a row) for 5 1/2 years. I am so glad I am DONE with that. Done.

Baby Sis wants a "kitchen" ....you know, the stove, oven, sink, shelves thing? she has been carrying around a Target ad of a really nice one. It's blue (her favorite color) and wood. Nicely made. The box weighed a TON! Santa will have fun putting that together on Christmas Eve.

So, that's it for now. Even though I haven't been posting as often I still read everyone.

Annnnd...
I'm outta here!

Just rambling away here....

2007-12-01T15:48:00.000-08:00

I broke my oil warmer today. :( RIP
Man, I loved that thing.

I was just a Walmart too earlier today wish I woulda known that I was going to demolish the damn thing, only one hour after returning home. I dumped oil into it while it was hot and out of oil. Wanna know what happens then? It makes a scary sound, then it cracks... then the oil runs out of the bottom and douses the candle. And then you say bad words.

I bought makeup. And nail stuff. Have to have that junk, ya know?

I tried that perfect match makeup for base and powder. They have this card you pull down and put against your skin. It has rows of the tints and tones. Which ever one disappears (against your wrist)in the row is your perfect match. So, I do it and waa-laa! One of the colors matched... so I look it up and it is one that I never in a million years would have chose.

I was skeptical.

Bought it. Took it home. Put it on. And guess what? I looks fabulous. Now I am thinking that I have used the totally wrong shades for my whole entire life. And here I am practically middle aged. Gawd. Now I will finally have the perfect match, only it will seep into all of my nooks and crannies.

Have I posted since Thanksgiving? No? We went to my moms. It was nice, fine, okay. We are going to go back over for Christmas. Things are a little better. I just have to let it go. Lots of stuff. Either you cram it way down deep inside or....

You just, let. It. Go.

Work is good. I am enjoying it. I like it a lot more now that business has picked up the last week or so... Hopefully it will continue to build. By summer I should have my own clientele started so, I'll get by.

The girls are doing great. Brooke Lynne is still taking dance. She loves it. And she is so good at it. I love watching her. She really *gets* it. Effortlessly. Some kids are good and some just go through the motions. I think I'll put Amanda in a dance class next year.... She is going to be going to preschool. I will be so lost!!! Both kids in school? OMG!

We are finally getting the pool ready for winter. Even though it's still freaking hot here in Hell. No season change or anything. That is one thing I missed about the North and I still kinda do. The change of seasons... leaves changing color, snow, actually getting cold outside.

Nino is still the same. Sad...

Another sad thing... My ex's Mom died the day after Thanksgiving. My ex-nephew Jimmie called me about an hour after she passed. He and I have remained very close since I split from my ex. I was very much a part of that family. In fact I had big issues dealing with the loss of everyone when I left him. Realistically though, you have to move on.

You can't stay in a family that you have divorced.

Especially when your ex is a big fucking asshole. We had no kids together, so it was a clean break. My nephew and I were always very, very close. There was a time that he and I were practically inseparable.

After I moved out, my ex-husband called everyone in his family and begged them to never speak to me again... to stop having me cut their hair etc. Most everyone did and I understood that.

But Jimmie? Well he has always done whatever the hell he wants to do. So he and I have remained friends. He was really upset after Evie died... when he called (right after) he asked me to come to the funeral. I said I would, but I really didn't think it was my place... So, I sent flowers and when he called to say thanks, I mentioned that I was working on the planned day. Sunday. I was and did. I was able to bow out gracefully. I really feel sad though. His mom was a wonderful woman and I loved her very much.

Hey, want an animal update?

Let's see....

Our tortoise, Olivia is thriving outside in her luxury living arrangement. It is so nice out there. We even bought her a little heater for the chilly nights and when it gets really cold we bring her inside. She is totally in love with my husband and she's a shameless little hussy to him. This tortoise actually flirts with him and gives him all of this affection. It's cute to watch the two of them. It weird too because you'd think a tortoise wouldn't have much of a personality but not this one, she is so cool.

A few months back I took my mom to buy a canary. After listening to me brag about how excellent and cool Genary's singing was, she decided she wanted one too. It just so happened that this lady up the street stuck a sign in her yard saying "Canaries".

My Genary sings his little head off. He is like a champion singer. I think I mentioned him before.... he is all screwy looking. So genetically screwy that I call him Genary (generic-canary).

The other day he grew a toenail that looked like the fingernails on that guy in the Guinness Book of World Records. Ever see that dude? Anyway, Genary sprouted this freakishly long toenail... like overnight. It was funny.

Anyway, when I took my mom to buy her male canary the lady there told me that my male would sing even more if he had a female. So, you know me... I bought one. Put her in the cage with him and he hasn't sang a note since. Last weekend I took her out of his cage and he started singing again. Within minutes!

A couple days ago I sat her cage next to his and he stopped singing. With her just next to him! We figured that he actually didn't like the bitch. So, I gave her back to the neighborhood canary lady. Like I really need a whole other cage to clean.

Really that is about it.

And I am outta here. Just. Like. That.

Yowza

2007-11-22T06:18:00.000-08:00

Man. Another year gone by. They go sooo fast. These days anyway.

It has been a really rough year for us. And for a lot of people I've noticed. I, for one will be glad to ring in the new year. I usually don't mark life by January 1st. But I might this time. I am all about next year being better.

So, I made 2 batches of fudge. With and without nuts. And a blueberry cheesecake. Going over to Mom's house this Thanksgiving. Way different from last year. I think it's a good thing. Things are a lot better with all of that. You know. THAT.

Next up? Decorating for the holiday. Put up the tree... Strew some lights across the yard. Etc.

All is well in my world. And I hope the same holds true for all of you.

Peace!

I'm still here...

2007-11-08T06:14:00.000-08:00

At least I was the last time I checked.

Things have been busy. Good, but busy. I like to be busy. Don't like how fast time is travelling, though. Too fast.

Where to begin...

The good stuff?

Most everything is good, and I am lucky like that.

The kids are doing great. Brooke Lynne is doing excellent in school. She loves it. To think back to all of the problems and issues we had in that crummy preschool. I was freaking thinking of all the things ahead. Kindergarten is awesome. Her teacher is so wonderful. I love her. The school is good. Very good. I so appreciate it after what we experienced at the preschool.

Next year Amanda is going to preschool. I have no clue as to which one. I'll have to figure it out, but it most certainly will not be that other one. Shame too because it was so conveniently located. I am going to have my hands full getting two kids to two different schools every day. I don't know how people do it with more than 2 kids!

My job is going excellent. I really love being back to cutting hair. I want to be busier though. Much busier. I will have to work up a clientele. Not an easy thing to do but I do know how to do it... basically hand out your business cards to clients and tell them to ask for you. And they do. It really does work. I printed up some cards with the logo of the salon and put my name and schedule on them.

My jewelry making has stalled I just do not have time to drag the stuff out and make things right now. Sad. I miss it.... I bought all of those supplies too... Oh well, it all keeps. Sometime I will get back into it. The polymer clay too.

My website Celebrity Rant is picking up again. Doing better. I sold another ad space. Very good. One old ad didn't renew though... I emailed and my email was returned as undeliverable. Not going to track them down. Oh well....

The bad stuff?

Nino.

God.

It's bad.

She is still hanging in there. But she fucking hates things. Hates the way she is, where she is and the fact that she is still here and not in "Heaven" where she wants to be.

She is entirely consumed with Death. It is all she talks about. And she goes on and on in this strident, carrying tone of voice. Just non-stop. You can see the stress on the nurses faces when we come visit. The said she only slept an hour yesterday. So, I am assuming that she spent the other 23 hours cursing life, praying for death and killing off the living, in her mind anyway. She says everyone is dead.

And that is partly true.

She has outlived everyone in her life. Her husband, daughter, siblings... the only one left is her grandson(my hubby). They have always been close. He used to call her everyday. Every single day. Now he goes to visit her. Everyday. Nearly.

It is taking it's toll on him. Especially because she finds no comfort. None. And she seems not to know he is there. That we are there. So consumed she is in her own hell on earth. She is just gone. And it is heart breaking. Our girls are so sad. They want her to "feel better".

Yesterday (I think) is going to be their last visit with Nino. The last 2 or 3 times she was carrying on about death. We send the kids over to look at the fish tank in the lobby, but trust me they can hear her... they know. She was saying how everyone is dead, gone. Everyone... Even saying that my husband was dead now too. This is their daddy she is talking about. As the girls came up to hug her bye, she looked at them and said "Now you'll be dead too."

Um, nope. I understand that she is out of her mind. God I really do. But when she tells me that she loves me. I know that she knows. On some level she knows. She's still there. And no way am I exposing the kids to that kind of stuff. Just cannot do it. Done.

After we got home, Brooke Lynne was snuggled up with me on the love-seat and launched into some hard, tough questions about Nino. About dying. About Heaven... you think they are just gazing at the fish, but they know.

So, that sucks.

Another crappy thing, our old man Domino. Our pit bull that we rescued as a puppy? Well, over the last year we have noticed that he seems a little lame in his back end. Kinda weak and he didn't jump up from laying down like he used to. Now he struggles to get up. Limps and holds a leg up. He has lost muscle tone in his back end. Looks like hip dysplasia... or even arthritis. Last night he had cramps and it was so sad and upsetting.

I am going to start him on pain relief and some glucosaimine. I hope it helps. Really, it's just about making him comfortable until it gets so bad that his quality of life is compromised. The we'll just have to make that tough decision. One thing for sure, I love him. He has been with us for over 9 years, I will never feel the same without him. Never.

Poor Hubby. His grandma AND his dog. My God. What a bitch.

So, that's it for now. I will try to keep up a little better. In addition to everything that has been going on I also decided to paint every room in our house. Room by room... ceilings too! Whew. hard work, but damn, it is looking good around here.

And I am outta here. Just. Like. That.

That's Hot!

2007-10-20T04:56:00.000-07:00

Since going back to work I've made lots of new friends and I love that. It's funny because usually I only work with this one chick (my bestest friend, actually) but as soon as I came back to work, she fell and broke her collar bone.

So, I ended up working a bit here and there with everyone. It has been awesome to meet all the girls and hang out. When you work in a salon, and there are no clients at that moment everyone sits around and talks etc. We run out to the store, eat snacks, drink coffee, read magazines, do our own hair.

It is a blast being a hair stylist. I have always loved it and the freedom that goes with it. From doing whatever you want, talking about whatever you want... charging whatever you want. Yes, if I feel what you want is going to be a lot of work and product, I am going to charge you a reasonable amount. If I feel you are a little broke, I'll knock a few bucks off here and there.

It was really hard to work a "normal" job like I did when I worked for the veterinarian. It was weird, I mean, c'mon, they are paying you by the hour, they want you working every moment. As a stylist, if I don't have a client in my chair, I am not getting paid at that moment, I am not doing shit..lol.. I mean, I'll fold a few towels and make a pot of coffee but really, it is a self indulgent, princess existence. heh...

So, I met this cool chick (at work) who has a 9 year old. Actually it's her step-daughter but she refers to her as "her daughter" which I think is awesome... especially because the poor kid's mom is a mess. Oh, the stories you hear in the salon. It's just like Oprah, Maury and Jerry Springer rolled into one with an occasional episode of Cops and Cheaters on a Saturday. I shit you not.

ANYWAY, she has been going through all of their stuff because they are going to move.... and mentioned she is getting rid of all of her daughters Bratz stuff.

HOLD ON A MINUTE!

Did you say DOLLS? GIRLY TOYS? Um, hell yeah.

You know me.

I told her to pack it up, put a price on the load of stuff and I'd take it all. She did and I did.

I brought all of it home and set it up on the kitchen table. It is so cool. There is a house. With like, 3 doors. I don't know what it is about doors but Mandy loves houses with doors. There is also a salon. Of course. All this hairdo stuff and a stylist chair, a styling station and a shampoo/sink etc. Even hair extensions!

There is only one boy doll... So, I sat one of the really blond dolls in the styling chair and I had him stand next to her like he was doing her hair, I even put some in his hand. And I christened him "Jose" and he is the most fabulous hair guy in town.

Then I put the baby in the bathroom sink and sat the skinniest one on the toilet. I put the 2 ethnic ones at the dinner table for some exotic cuisine, I tucked the Baby Bratz doll into bed and set up the other blond to do the laundry...

...and um,

Oh wait. I know what you are thinking. I played with the fucking Bratz dolls? Right?

hrumph. As if.

I only set them up. In a pleasing manner.

And after the kids go to bed tonight I am going to shampoo and style them all. Each and every one. Only because they are a little messy.

That's all.

Anyway. They are adorable. Pretty little dolls. They have on a tad too much makeup for day wear, but hey... don't we all? I love their outfits. Man, they have tiny little clothes and their bodies are much smaller than Barbies, at least I think they are. I have a feeling I'll be ebay-ing an assload of Barbie stuff to get them more Bratz outfits. They actually ended up with 15 freaking Bratz dolls! They have a few outfits, but of course you know they need an entire wardrobe. It is now my mission to outfit them all in splendor.

Ha! They are a little sexy looking, though. A teeny bit hootchie momma. Oh well. Secretly, I think they look hot.

OMG! Did you know their fucking feet COME OFF? And that is how you switch their shoes. Okay, I had to admit it looked weird and kinda stumpy. And FUN, of course to pull a foot off. My kids acted like that was the most normal thing in the world to pluck off a foot and stick a new one on.

God. Kids these days.

Still...

Remember when we thought it was completely normal that our bionic woman doll had circuit breakers in her arm?

Jeesh.

Dream a little dream...

2007-10-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

Dreaming of a nuclear bomb, suggests feelings of helplessness, being threatened and loss of control. You may be experiencing great hostility and rage to the point of being destructive. Alternatively, you may be expressing a desire to wipe out some aspect of yourself. It may also be an indication that something crucial and precious to you has ended and important changes are about to occur.

Wow, just wow. How is THAT for accurate?

Update on Nothing :)

2007-10-13T17:10:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been this long.

*sigh*

I could use the excuse that most days I have carpal tunnel syndrome so bad (since returning to work) that my written words look like I typed them while wearing mittens.

Seriously. I just bang away here and then do a spell check. Spell check is a gift from the Gods. Or something like that.

I have been keeping busy. Things are just crazy busy insane.

Not enough hours in the day etc.

I've sorted most of the stuff from Ninos. We decided to bring the items she wanted us to have (eventually) here to the house now. The rest is in storage. We have things like a roll top desk, bookcase etc. A few furniture items... The rest is just all packed in boxes.

So sad. So final.

We all piled into the van to make the 40 minute trek to see her today. When we got there the girls and I waited in the foyer while hubby went to get her and bring her out... well, he was gone quite a while and came back alone. He said she was having a "bad morning" ....combative, angry and fussing. Not good for the 3 and 5 yr old.

My job is going great. I am already getting requests. People that call and come in asking for you and only you to coif 'em. It's all good. Some days it's a mutha to get my ass in there.... but things are calming down a bit around here.

Hubby is really taking this stuff with Nino hard. I understand. I do. I get it. He is not himself. And it's so hard. For everyone. But mostly for him. Poor guy :(

I still need to get Monte (my boyfriend) neutered. I need to call around a find a reasonable vet. The place we used to go to wanted almost $400!!! Um, I don't think so. If my husband could hold him REALLY still, I could neuter him myself. I could! But I won't. But I could... really.

So, as I mentioned, my carpal tunnel is back with a vengeance. I don't know what to do about it. Last Sunday we were so busy at work it was insane. I went to bed that night and woke up about midnight with my hands so numb they felt like blocks of cement. They felt like they weren't even a part of my body. Anyone have this? It is so painful. The numbness is crazy. It gets so bad that the pain keeps me up. All night.

The next morning I went out and spent $50 bucks on immobilizer casts. For both hands. I was desperate for some relief. You are supposed to wear them at rest, I guess that means in the evenings and at night while you sleep. I did. It helped. Really uncomfortable but if it lets me get some sleep... I'm all for that.

If anyone has any ideas on how to combat carpal tunnel let me know. I need to keep working. I was thinking about quitting but then I will be stuck back at home again. Plus as soon as I started back at the salon one of the stylists fell and broke her collar bone so they really need me now, she is going to be out for several weeks!

I went out and bought the girls their Halloween costumes. Adorable! Last year the 5 yr old wanted to be a princess and the 3 year old wanted to be a witch. This year they switched! Of course the old costumes wouldn't work so I bought new. It was fun. Got them little matching tights, shoes and everything. Cuteness.

Our poor swimming pool is sitting out back, unused. It really bothers me that we never make it out there to use it. The girls have even quit asking to go swim. We never have the time, or its looks like it will storm or something.... In fact I had to get out in it today and scrub it out good. It had algae!!!! I lapsed a bit on the chemicals. That's how busy things have been. I guess somethings gotta give. It looks beautiful and clear now... we need to try and get in it. Too bad I am working during the best part of the day tomorrow :(

Well, that's about it. I know.... lameness. Oh well. I am exhausted! Much love to you all, my Homies that stick by me and read my boring blah blah updates. Even when they read like a sad medical review chart. LOL. I guess I am getting OLD!

Much love! Holla!

Breaking up is hard to do...

2007-10-04T03:54:00.000-07:00

I wasn't looking for another boyfriend when we first met.

In the beginning I tried to resist you. I just knew, deep in my heart that no good would ever come of this.

In fact, I decided to never see you again. I walked away.

But you haunted me, so I went back once more and brought you home with me.

You were so cute.

The cutest ever.

But in reality you have turned out to be the baddest boyfriend ever.

You are lazy....

And genetically, you are screwed....

You are the worse boyfriend I've ever had. You do all of those horrible, unforgivable things behind my back (like chew my shoes, TWICE) and then laugh at me when I scream at you.

You are all about having fun. A good time.

Always trying to bury your bone between my breasts like countless other boyfriends. Well, not countless, but you know what I mean.

You dig and scratch and try to push it into places it does not belong....

You sneak around, behind my back.

And when I catch you redhanded, doing all those bad boyfriend things...

I bitch you out completely for good measure.

Then it's the silent treatment.

As I ignore you, you chase behind me, licking at my heels, begging forgiveness...

You cry and say,

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

Oh, okay.

I forgive you.

So, I won't kick you out this time. I'll let you stay...

on one condition...

You go get neutered like your best friend Metro B. Skrappy.

Seriously?

2007-09-30T03:45:00.000-07:00

Wow has it been this long since I've wrote? Shame on me. I thought I'd write more these days. You know all those hairy horror salon stories. I already have a few. Removed more than one mullet. I made a serious decision that no one will leave my styling chair with a mullet. Not ever. It just ain't right ya'll.

So, once again, now for the third time I am missing a Sunday of work. First was when Hubby's gram was in the hospital (then when I was in the hospital) now it's because we are in the process of packing and moving her things out of her apartment and into storage. She (hubby's gram) will not be able to live alone again.

Fortunately she has chosen a swanky, beautiful place to live in for the last 10 years. She had to sell her house because she just couldn't keep up with it. She was near 90 then! Now she's 98. This "retirement" home is beautiful and it has areas for all needs... from simple help with every day things to full out medical care. She has always done so well and been on top of the game. But suddenly there was this rapid decline. Now she seems stable and physically okay, but her mind is confused. And it is sad and heart breaking. Really.

But even more sad and heartbreaking is packing her things and boxing it all up. Deciding what to keep and what to throw out. It's so hard. We are going to put it all in storage. Although we know she won't be back to her own place again it's the only thing we know to do.

It's times like this that you need family to lean on. Sad thing is that my own Mother is not here for me right now. Nothing new there. And she knows how hard it is to go through this. She just did it with her own mother. And if anyone remembers excluded me completely and then complained bitterly at how difficult it was because she "had no one".

I know we waited until the last minute to pack up the stuff ... considering this is the end of the month. But I guess Hubby was in denial. Just hoping she would snap out of it and they'd send her back home. After all the testing came through they determined that there was just no way....

So, I called my mom Friday and asked her to watch the girls Saturday while we went over and packed... she had a list a mile long of things she and my brother needed to do. Okay, fine.... I understand. We waited until the night before to call and ask her. She was busy. Okay.

So, we took the girls and they were good. They really tried hard. But it was so hard for them to sit and not touch stuff and just hang out. Especially while tensions were running high and we are both emotionally overwrought. We managed to get a van load full of stuff to put in storage but that's it. The kids couldn't take it any longer, they needed lunch, a nap, their toys etc. So we came back home... unloaded the van and hubby went back up there again. Oh, did I mention it's a 40 minute drive each way?

I took a deep breath and called my mom. I know for a fact that my brother will not leave the house on Sundays. He does his laundry etc. He gets all his shit done on Saturdays. So I knew she'd be available.

So, I call and tell her how hard it's been. All the stuff there was (and is) to pack...and how lost we were (are) how hard it was (is)for the kids etc. Then I asked her if she could come over and watch the girls tomorrow(today) while we go try to finish up.

Wanna know what she said?

Would you like a direct quote?

She said:

"Well, tomorrow is Buffy's birthday and we are planning on going and getting KFC for lunch."

Buffy is their dog.

Swear to God.

Seriously.

I started to fight the tears. Choking them back and I said:

"Are you serious?"

She was like, um yeah.

Yeah.

So, I said. Okay. We'll get it handled. And I hung up.

Deeeep brefs.

She called back. Several times. I guess she thought that fucked up shit over. Insisting that she watch the girls... that she really, really can and it's no problem. No, no. No problem at all. What so ever.

God.

Unbelievable.

She just said, "Well, you know. It's just that I don't know what to do with them. I can just sit and watch them..."

Fuck. Yes. Please just watch them. With your eyes. They can play by themselves. You don't have to interact. God forbid don't strain yourself emotionally, okay.

Man.

It is going to be a long day.

Long, long day.

Bodily functions and shit like that...

2007-09-12T04:51:00.000-07:00

I remember back in the day before I had kids. I used to paint my nails.... then change the color... then change it again. All in one evening. I never had so much as a smudge.

Ah....

These days I am lucky to have all 10 intact.

So, as you can tell things have been busy. I thrive on busy-ness though. And I work well with others ;)

And I do try to post in here as often as I can. Bad grammar included. As always.

Let's see....

I landed in the hospital last weekend. I might have mentioned I've had this backache. Low ...all the way across. Then on Saturday I started having pain in my ovary area. I had it once before back in January (I think) anyway this time the pain got ridiculous. Scary. I was trying to sleep and it was actually keeping me awake. Through pain medication. Just hurting and feeling like something was going to break or pop inside me.

I got to thinking... what if I have an ectopic pregnancy?? Although I've had my tubes tied, it can still happen. So after 3 hours or not sleeping I got up and went to the ER. By myself. It was scary to go out driving at 3 am. Hubby got up and I called him on my cell as I walked through the parking lot. Then texted him with various complaints....

Everyone was super nice at the ER. Loved them all. It came down to, I have injured my lower back and I have an ovarian cyst. Ew. Fuck.

I actually believe the low back ache is related to the cyst etc. But what do I know. Anyway, it sucks but at least I know what it is now.

Yesterday hubby had to have an extraction. He decided to pull it because it is waaaay in the back. I got really pissed at him though. He opted for nitrous oxide. For 75 extra dollars. I was like, 75 bucks so you can have a buzz while they rip your tooth out? Jeesh. I guess he felt he needed it considering he passed out the last time they came at him with their tiny little tools.

Whatever. He still kicked ass and took super awesome care of our babies while I worked last night. All the while packed with gauze. Even made cookies. I think that was the drugs motivating him. But hey, the cookies were really good.

Speaking of work. It is going excellent. I LOVE it. The customers are loving me and everyone is so cool and friendly and tipping awesome.... I am passing out my cards and I have ran into more than a few clients that I remembered from last time I worked there. It's all about getting those "requests"...

So, Nino is actually improving... she is out of the hospital and in the rehab part of the swanky retirement place she lives in. She does say she is ready to "go" and I can't blame her. 98. Wow. I hope I make it to 98. She has lived a great life and there is no better person than her. I love her with all of my heart.

And that's about it....

I am outta here. Just. Like. That.

Heaven

2007-09-07T11:04:00.000-07:00

Just ate a brownie. Fudge carmel.

With a fork.

Starbucks is my crack.

Cha-CHING!

2007-09-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

Oh my achin' back.

Man, I am just not used to working. heh...

I seriously love it, though. I missed it.

It feels glorious.

Totally.

I worked 2 nights last week and then Sunday.

Whew. Sunday I did 12 haircuts. The tips were sensational. Dang! I had a pocket full of money and I like that.

Going back to work.. I was thinking about my sanity and sense of self worth, getting out in the real world... having adult conversations... as opposed to "How do they Make Teddy Grahams?" and "Why does my Teddy Graham cracker have a belly button?" ...and "Where are Barbie's nipples?"

All that thinking and I overlooked the part about....

Job = $

Cash. Yeah, baby.

It was totally worth it for me to work last week. Mentally and financially.

I am lucky too... Everyone I work with is so so cool, they lurve me. My welcome back was really nice. Plus I get to work all but one of my shifts with my best friend.

The kids are taking it well. The first night they flipped out. Mostly my 5 year old was freaked. But they are accepting it. I told them I "need" to do it. They understand.

So, all is well in my world.

Well, almost everything.

A Catch All Post

2007-08-29T12:17:00.000-07:00

First off to answer Cheri's question... how is Nino? Well... that is a difficult one to answer. It's confusing. One day we think she might get better and then the next (like today) she seems really bad. They took her out of ICU and into a regular room. She is still very confused and they think she had some type of "heart failure" she is also "metabolically delirious." They were talking about releasing her tomorrow and of course she will have to go into rehab... Then she will need to be in a constant care situation. They really can't tell us what to expect but they do keep saying that "she is 98 after all..." It's so hard.

Next, to answer Barney's question about the turtle...

You know, I simply loved my turtles. However, the problem is that they grow. They get kinda big and they have to be in water. Fresh clean water. Which they eat and poop in. Not such a big deal for a tiny turtle but grow one to saucer sized (some grow to dinner plate size) and it gets dirty fast. We started ours out in a 5 gallon, then a 10 ....then I could not keep the water clean in a 20 gallon! Next I moved him outside but I just couldn't wrestle a large enough container for him to float in and eat and poop in.... I was washing it out daily and by morning you couldn't even see the turtles in it. Just filthy. And it was stinky and I ain't having that. I don't even know how people do it.

So, we gave the turtles away and got a tortoise. They do not need water to float in, only a shallow pan to soak in every couple days. They are really clean.... if you soak them every day or so, they will poop in that pan and you can just dump it right out. The tortoise pen stays very clean... no odor... Nice!

I really love her but she is a lot of responsibility. She'll get big. Huge! Like 100 pounds... So, we built her a tortoise run out on our deck. It's nice. I put plants and stuff in it and it matches the rest of the deck. I have pictures somewhere, I'll have to post a couple.... We have a good situation for her. When we buy our next house (in a yr or two) we'll go the distance and build her an oasis out in the yard.

So, that really didn't answer your question or did it? :)

OMG! That reminded me. I put her in her pan to soak the other afternoon... and I got busy doing stuff... that was the same day I burnt the popcorn (Which I did the lemon thing in the microwave and it worked ...THANKS!!) Anyway, it got to be bedtime and my husband came in and told me I forgot Olivia (the tortoise) out in her pan. For HOURS!!! She was so fucking pissed off. And yes, tortoises can have attitudes. She stayed mad at me for 2 days. And I don't blame her. I felt incredibly bad. There she was all stuck in her pan of water. Waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Saying, "Hello? I'm done shitting now. I'm soaking in my own poop here ...hellllo? Bitch."

Tonight is Open House at my kid's school. She said "Momma! We are having a party at school tonight!" I asked her if they would be having any snacks? She said Yes! So, I said, okay, I'll be there ;)

I think her Baby Sister misses her Big Sister these days. Today we went to the grocery store. The bakery lady gave her a cookie and she sadly said "I wish my sister could have a cookie too." Now maybe she was trying to hedge an extra cookie out of that lady, I don't know...

Hey... we are all just trying to get by. One cookie at a time.

What's That Smell?

2007-08-27T08:06:00.001-07:00

How do you get the smell of burnt popcorn out of the microwave?

GAH!

It is positively wretched.

Last night, I stuck a bag of popcorn in the micro for the kids, got busy outside... soaking the tortoise... watering my plants.

And the next thing ya know... the kids have their faces pressed againt the sliding back door gagging and yelling.

Oh, the STENCH.

I didn't just scorch it. It burnt. I swear it might have had flames licking the bag.

Nastiness.

Now the microwave stinks. The house too, I'm sure.

Happy Monday.

Deeeeep Brefs...

2007-08-26T12:03:00.000-07:00

So, I was scheduled to go back to work today. I was ready to jump in with both feet and do a major Edward Scissorhands... chop some 'do's, slice and dice some hair and all of that.

However, life does not always go as planned. In fact life can suck sometimes.

Really suck.

Nino.

What can I say?

She has been the grounding force in my husband's life.

His rock.... his safe place ....his everything.

Nino his beloved grandmother.

She stepped in to raise him when his mother made "other choices". She guided him and taught him so much. Gave him so much.

Gave us so much.

And has loved me like family. Which I guess I am. And I have loved her right back. More than my own real family members. She has been supportive of my endeavors ....been interested, truly interested in the things I am doing.

And that speaks volumes to me, to my heart. It fills me up in all those empty places that my own family has left open and gaping. Raw and wounded.

Nino is 98 years old and has always been on top of the game. Now she is running down, slowing up and falling behind. And it is so hard to take.

The last week has been hell. She has been in the hospital twice and last night they placed her in ICU. We don't know if she is going to be okay. Or come out of it. All we know is that if she does manage to come out, she won't ever be the same. She won't be able to live in her own space again.

So many decisions. So hard. Difficult. And painful.

I just couldn't go in to work today and leave my babies with my mom. She coulda came over to watch them. But it's just so hard. Maybe I could have went in if I had been leaving them all along. But with my oldest wading through kindergarten for the first time last week. And my husband wandering around, so lost. And he needed to go be with Nino today.

And my own worry and heart break. I just couldn't do it today.

I am lucky in life. I have so many good people around me. They understand. Good friends. They know.

So, I called in "sick" on my first day back. They understand. Thank God for that.

I am still going to go back to work. I need to. The time is right. It's just today. Well, everything is wrong today.

So. Like....

That's it.

Lots of words, not much content...

2007-08-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I left my child and I did not cry. I simply cannot believe it but I didn't.

Cry.

Maybe my eyes got a little misty and maybe I slapped on my huge rock star sunglasses as soon as I left the room, but...

I did. Not. Cry.

Only 'cause I had baby sister with me. I had to strap on my game face.

So, I was FINE as I left my child. I think it's because of Pre K. It makes it so much easier.... It really does prepare them. So important, those 3 little hours a day.

I will send Baby Sister to Pre School, but I will not send her to the same one I sent Big Sister to. I thought when I went around to check out Pre K's that that one was great. I was fine about it. My kid was fine about it. I left her that first morning and she was happy.

As I walked out the door that first day the first thing I noticed was that some ignorant, irresponsible parent left the gate wide open. A gate that opens a few feet from a six lane, very busy street.

Who is that careless?

Lots of people. In fact, that was something I noticed almost everyday. The gate was unlatched all the time. As I left her that morning, I was filled with worry and dread. And anyone who read my last blog knows all of the bullshit that went down at that school. And the shitty part was that if my kid had been lucky enough to land in the other class, she would have done wonderfully. The same teacher (AND her aide) were always there, on their feet, with their class teaching, interacting.

All of that.

My poor kid was in the class being "taught" by the 18 year old teacher's aide. Not even the required two adults. Figures.

Now she is going to "real" school. And I am so HAPPY with my choice. (You get to choose which school your child attends here in Florida in my area.... Well you actually get 3 choices and this school was my first choice....) I LOVE the school, the office staff are so nice! The school looks clean and organized, even the landscaping is beautiful... Her classroom is amazing, fuklly stocked with tons of stuff. Her teacher is older, has taught there for a long time and she is awesome. I love, love, love everything!

She was beyond excited today. I know she was a little nervous, but that was just about the "unknown" stuff. I tried to think of everything I could to prepare her... and I know they will keep the kids informed... She really thrives in a scheduled, predictable situation (I think most kids do) and I believe she is going to be happy and have a excellent experience this time around.

I took her yesterday to meet her teacher. They gave us a tour a couple weeks ago when I registered her, but her teacher was in a meeting. She was able to see her classroom all set up and to meet the teacher. That made her feel so much better.

Next we needed to get to dance class... we timed it perfectly, climbed back in the van and it wouldn't start! I don't think I have had a car break down in, like, maybe, 12 years! I turned the key and it made a rapid clicking sound.

The battery. I knew it.

I tried to roll open the sun roof and there wasn't enough juice. I did manage to get the electric windows down, sloooowly. It was beyond hot outside yesterday. It was sweltering!!

I called hubby, he called my mom to come sit with Amanda. He bought a new battery and got it in the car in time for me to get Brooke Lynne to her dance class. It was perfect timing too! Just as we got there they were changing into tap shoes for the last half.

Oh, I almost forgot. After I dropped Brooke Lynne off at her class we were walking back to the van. Let me tell you that parking lot was a cluster fuck. No exaggeration. It was a mess.... people were parked in the parking spots and people were parking parallel behind those cars. It was NUTS.

Anyway, as we were walking to the van, I noticed a little boy crying. Then he launched into these ear splitting screams. And kept screaming, over and over. I stopped and looked at him along with another mom that was pushing a stroller... then she turned around and walked away from him. I thought she was his mom, maybe trying to get him to follow... He continued to scream and cry. She turned around and said to me, "I think he ran out of his class". There was no one else around him. As he screamed and cried a few people stopped, but no one said anything to him... then he took off running, break neck speed, screaming, through the parking lot right toward the street!

And no one chased after him. No one.

I started to, but I had a hold of my 3 year old. There were other people around and they just let him go. Can you believe that? They just shrugged their shoulders.

OMG.

I started walking to my car and I saw a young mom holding onto her bigger kid and had the runaway kid by the arm. Thank God someone had the sense to grab him. I hope he is okay. You could tell he was freaking and just came totally unglued at being left at school like that. Another good reason to send your kids to preschool!

It really upset me. And to think, His mom left him in his class thinking he was okay and taken care of and he was out that door, on the sidewalk and running for the street and no one tried to stop him.

Unbelievable.

I wonder if his parents will be told that he escaped? Of course I was worried sick that my kid was okay. I know she knows to stay in that classroom, but still. Scary stuff. Really.

Well, I seriously doubt anyone has made it this far.. a long wordy blah blah post. But I always feel better after one of these.

I should be posting more often. Starting Sunday I am going back to work for a few hours a week. So, I should have lots of crazy clients to talk about.... . I didn't want to go back until next week, but they need me to start then.

Back to doing hair.

Yup, never say never, I always say.

Lay-tah!

Such is life....

2007-08-21T04:32:00.000-07:00

My child starts kindergarten today.

And I just started my period.

I think it's safe to say my womb is weeping for it's loss.

Man...

2007-08-17T11:39:00.000-07:00

So.... like.
I just do not know.

Really. I am clueless.

Oh, I do know one thing...

My bad.

Brain Damage

2007-08-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

Man, my kids have been so fucking bad today. Fighting and squabbling. Everything that is in one kids hands the other kid suddenly wants
...this turns into pushing, pulling, screaming, shoving and even teeth were fully involved at one point today.

Gaw.

All this fighting over toys that I am now positive are fully coated in LEAD. What in the fuck are those people thinking? Painting our kids TOYS with lead? That is seriously fucked up. I'd like to know when it's ever okay to paint a toy with a toxic substance?

Fuck. It makes me mad.

Back to the fighting, squabbling and crap.....

I know. Oh, yes I know. I will be sad, sorry and heart broken to see my baby go to school. But damn, it is going to be a little easier around here.

And I am thinking about going back to work.

After 3 years home.

Yup. You heard me.

Back to cutting hair.

Le sigh.

Say WHAT?

2007-08-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

He said:

"I don't know whether to puke or piss a porcupine."

School Daze

2007-08-08T11:29:00.000-07:00

What a day.

First off, I decided to run Brooke Lynne up to her school this morning to "officially" register her. Submit all of her paper work etc. Everyone was so damn NICE. I freaking love it there (so far). I asked when they will be doing the orientation and it just so happened to be on the same night that her dance class starts back up. I thinking ....oh no, we are not going to make it, now what? This is her first time at "real" school and I wanted her to get a feel for it. I mentioned that we might not be able to make it on time that night. The office administrator literally dropped everything and gave us a tour of the entire school right on the spot.

Very cool.

Next we went off to Dillards. I have a charge card so it's not like real money, right? I planned on getting her a pair of shoes and a couple outfits. Hey, it's only kindergarten and I just bought her a bunch of clothes at the start of summer. And of course as soon there is a chill in the air, I'll be buying her more jeans etc.

Anyway, they had racks and racks of stuff on sale. And I mean On Sale! I could not believe the prices and the cuteness of their clothes. I ended up getting her 9 tops and 6 bottoms (shorts and skorts) ...and a pair of overalls for baby sister, for under $200 bucks. No tax this week on top of that. Included was a pair of shoes. She wanted Sketchers but they didn't have the ones she liked in her size... then she spied a pair of pink and white Stride Rites that lit up (and were the same exact price as the Nike and Sketchers.)

While we were shopping it started to rain, then storm and pour down in buckets. As we looked out the door to the parking lot it was flooded. I am talking, standing deep-ass water. So, we stepped outside, took off our shoes, rolled up my jeans and ran for our van. The water was halfway to my knees! Thankfully it was clear and clean looking or I would have been freaked. We ended up splashing each other and laughing ourselves silly about practically having to swim back to our car.

Stopped off at Burger King. Yuck. Not my favorite junk food place but it was okay.

And now we are back home chillin'.

I have to go sort out all of their clothes since I bought an ass-load more than I needed to... Thankfully Amanda does not protest hand me downs, YET.

The last thing to ready Brooke Lynne for school is her eye doctor appt. That one I leave up to Daddy. He takes her for that. Mercifully. Last time he took her to this old guy and she flipped out. I finally found a female pediatric ophthalmologist so she is going to go there. Next week.

Ah, so much stuff to do. It is going to get really insane when I am doing this for both kids every year. Not to mention expensive.

Oh, well.

And I am outta here. Just. Like. That.

Pictures!

2007-08-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

Shot through the heart....

2007-08-03T15:19:00.000-07:00

It is so fucking HOT. I cannot stand it. I love Florida. It's beautiful. The winters are fabulous... no snow or ice. But fuck. It is hot. I am over it. My air conditioner cannot even keep up. It's 81 degrees in my house.

bitch
bitch
bitch

Ah. There now I feel better. Sorta.

My child, however, is not feeling better. Poor baby. Today she had her physical and they gave her three shots! 3! I knew she was due for a shot, immunization, vaccine... call it what you will.... I knew it and was expecting it. I decided not to tell her. I whispered to the receptionist that she didn't know that was on the agenda today. She whispered back co-conspiratorially that a lot of parents don't tell the kid until it's happening... then she said a few asshole parents actually threaten their kids that if they are "not good the doctor will give them a shot..."

wtf?

That is seriously messed up. Who says that kind of crap to their kid? And how does that kid know what to expect or who to trust?

Believe me I had a rough time not telling her she was getting a shot.... then when she got three, I was honestly able to say to her "oh, my baby... I had no idea you were getting three shots today!" As I held her arms across her chest and looked into her trusting eyes ...and when her face registered the shock and then pain, well, it hurt my heart. I almost burst into tears myself. I had to seriously fight it back. It sucked.

They really gave her the once over... Tested and checked out every bit of her. It was actually pretty cool and I was proud of the grown up way she conducted herself and the answers she gave to all the questions. She is a smart one, for sure.

Last time, I didn't know they check the private area... They do it when they are babies... but I didn't think they still did. Last year appt. came right after I gave her the big lecture of how no one is to ever touch, look at or have anything to do with your private area....EVER! She was about to go to PreK and had not been away from us. So, I had that talk and 2 days later the doctor wanted to check her private area. Well, she let Dr. Meri know that on no uncertain terms she wasn't gonna be going there.

This time I had a year to prepare her for the "invasion". After we got in the room, they gave her a paper "outfit" to put on. She was beyond horrified. She was saying "Momma, I do not want to wear these paper clothes... I want my princess stuff back on!" LOL...

I honestly believe the paper outfit was almost as bad as the vaccines. Anyway, the doctor did such a quick peek, it was over in a split second. Then the doctor said that since I was there it was okay for her to check, but that it was never okay for anyone else to look there. Yes! Huge points for the doctor. I really like her. She just has a very cool laid back way about her.

So, that was that. She made it through the whole thing... BUT, I am a little worried tonight. It seems that her leg "hurts" and she is kind of limping. Now, I know she is a huge drama queen, but I really do think it's a little sore... I checked her and she had no temp... I gave her a couple Tylenol chew-ables for discomfort.

I know a few other mommies read this and I was just wondering if they remember if their kid had some pain after this series of shots. It's the polio/ diphtheria tetanus pertussis/ measles mumps rubella. I would almost say it's "moderate" pain.. No swelling, no fever. Just really sore.

Anyway... I'll be back to post more later or tomorrow.

TTFN

Close Call

2007-07-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

I had a middle of the night harrowing phone call the other night. The phone rang at 1 in the morning. We have a phone by our bed, but for some reason, I staggered all the way out the the family room to answer. I was half asleep and it took me a moment to even register that it was the phone that actually ringing. By the time I got to the phone it stopped ringing and the answering service picked up. I checked the called ID and did not recognize the name or number. Picked up the line and sure enough there was a message. I figured some one's drunken fingers musta misdialed.

Nope.

It was my best friend, leaving a frantic message.

She said her house was on fire.

WTF?

I instantly called the number back and a firefighter answered the phone. There was total chaos in the background. He husband yelling he was burned and I could hear a helicopter. My girl got on the line, out of breath an panicked asking if she could come over.

Um, DUH! Of course.

So, I tossed our dogs out in the yard. They tend to bark at visitors when they knock, and Wilson (little fat man 20 pound chihuahua) will bark at everyone every time they make a move. I figured the dogs would wake the girls up, but oh well. It was an emergency.

She came to the door reeking of smoke. Totally freaked out. I asked what happened... she said her husband fell asleep with a cigarette and burned the bedroom up. She was dozing on the couch watching TV when she was jerked awake by her husbands screams. Ran in and saw FIRE. Not smouldering smoke. But fire. The bed, wall, curtains were in flames. They tried to put it out for about 30 seconds but quickly realized that it was out of control. They shooed the two big dogs out in the yard but could not find their tiny chihuahua. They made it outside and called 911.

The firefighters put out the fire and finally found their tiny dog. He went and hid under the bed. He was very frightened but okay. He was trapped in the fire for a good half hour.

Scary stuff.

I am so mad at her husband. He nearly killed my best friend. What a fucking asshole. I could go on and bash him for a lot of things. But I won't. He is going to need skin graphs on his hands.

I am just glad that they made it out alive. When I think about what could have happened, it is almost unthinkable.

So, that's it.

Count your blessings. Every one.

Flucking Fluck!

2007-07-25T11:38:00.000-07:00

Guess who's baaaaaack?

Jay Bird.

I sent him to my mom and he treated her rather badly. Not that she didn't deserve it. (Okay, if you've been a long time reader you'll get that one.)

So, he bit her yesterday and drew blood! She cannot even reach into his cage anymore to fill his water bottle or his dishes... She was sorry, she did want to keep him, but the bird doesn't like her or my brother. I guess cocktails are good judges of character.

:)

So, he is back and I had to practically rearrange my house to fit him in. It looks like a fucking pet store in here. Fortunately, I get to stay home and clean all day so (at least) it doesn't smell like a zoo.

Poor Genary the Canary. I hope he continues to sing. My husband put J.D. Bird right back in front of the picture window and usurped Genary. I have him on top of the chinchilla cage until I can think of a better spot. That canary sings like a champion! It is amazing. I love his song. It's so beautiful. He'll sit there and sing all day long. I hope he doesn't get intimidated by that stupid cockatiel and stop singing.

I have not had much luck with the polymer clay. It is much harder to work with than I expected. It is going to take practice. I am into supplies and tools by over $200 so I need to figure it out... I am not sure where I am with the jewelry stuff... I want to make polymer clay pendants and wrap them but it's tricky to figure out designs and patterns... and I'd like to make some beads too.

I'd love to fashion some little dolls. I like fairies and things like that that. I'd like to make some pretty little fairy dolls and adorn them with beads and stuff. I took a lump of the clay and played around with it, trying to make a face out of the clay. It is HARD! Much harder than you could imagine. Working with the clay is really artistic. I am hoping to hone my skills, 'cause it sure as hell isn't coming to me naturally!

I sold out all of my wire wrapped stones.... I have none left!

I still have a few unwrapped that I might do down the line sometime. But for now, I am over doing the stones. It's just when I first started, you looked on ebay (for example) and only a few people were wrapping stones, now there are pages and pages of wire wrapped stones.... everyone is doing it. Some are good at it and some suck but there is a lot of competition.

I have gotten into wrapping cameos and stuff. Making different types of pendants... not doing stones anymore.

I've sold a few things lately, but it's slow going. Turtle Stones doesn't get much traffic... A while back I did exchange jewelry with a few "celebrity" bloggers to put my ad up on their sites... they got the jewelry then pulled the ad after a month or two! I was pissed! Oh well, live and learn. And trust no one :)

My ear is so sore! I totally fucked up. I wanted to replace the captive bead earring (that he pierced me with) with one that matches my other one. I wrestled the original one out, it hurt.... then when I went to put the other one in, and I couldn't get it in! I didn't take into consideration that it is still swollen and the opening of the earring is too narrow. So, I had to put a stretcher in. Which looks exactly like this:

It's the only thing I could get in it. It's actually kinda cool and tuff looking but also hurts like hell because it stretched my newly poked hole from a 16 gauge to a 14 ...it is kinda pointed on both ends and it's sitting inside the center of my ear. If I accidentally catch it on a towel or my clothes, I am sure ya'll hear me screaming.

I guess I could go back to my piercer dude and ask him to get the earring back in but I'll look stupid because he told me not to fuck with it and I know better than to fuck with it... But what did I go do? Fuck with it. So, I guess I'll leave this medieval contraption in until the swelling goes down, then I'll try to get a captive bead back in it.

*sigh*

Anyway, I took a couple pictures of my beautiful ballerina on the way out to her dance class, I'll post 'em in a bit. I have to download them...

Oh yeah, I joined Bloglines. I love it... I listed every blog that I read. I ended up with 27 blogs!!! It's nice because when someone updates, it tells you and you can read it right there. No more mindless blog surfing and random checking... Plus this way I can keep up with everyone.

And that's about it.

I am outta here. Just. Like. That

Yum!

2007-07-22T09:12:00.000-07:00

I just ate guacamole for the first time. It was so delish. I have no idea why I never tried it before but damn, it was good. Brooke Lynne liked it too. Amanda wouldn't touch it. But then again, she's the same kid that recoils in disgust and asks me to please,
"Get that salad off my sandwich!"
...when I put lettuce and tomato on her turkey.

Alrighty then, I am of to play with my new toys. I went out and bought all the stuff to make polymer clay things. Like beads and pendants. It looks kinda complicated to get it all crazy looking. I hope to eventually learn to make stuff like this....

But realistically, it'll be more like this...

But someday, with an assload of practice and a ton of talent maybe I can pull off something like this....

Just me. Sharing again. Go me.

2007-07-19T12:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, check this out.

As usual I was out buying nail polish, nail tips, etc.

I always do my own nails. The nail salon people piss me off. They never want to make them really short like I like them. I literally have my nails only to the tips of my fingers.

That short? Why bother "doing" them? Because the polish stays on fake nails perfectly, they always look really nice and they are all the same length, AND if one breaks I just glue on another one.

Easy.

So, while I was sorting through the polish and stuff I noticed fake toenails.

Yup, you heard me.

Glue on toenails.

I saw them once a long time ago and scoffed. Who in the mother fuck glues fake nails on their toes?

That's crazy.

Um, that might be me.

For some weird reason the other day one of my toenails fell off. This FREAKED me out. Why did it fall off? I have no clue. I have never had a single thing fall off me before.

Never.

But for some unknown reason my toenail came off. I think I might have smashed it or something and forgot about it. You know how you are going along and stub your toe? Scream and writhe in agony then the next day it's fine. I musta did that. And later it caused my nail to fall off. In any event I was horrified. It really bothered me. And anyone that knows me knows I have stubby little Flintstone feet.

As. It. Is.

So, this was like adding insult to injury. No pun intended. Is that even a pun?

I hate puns.

So, after scoffing and ridiculing those fake nails in the past they were looking like the perfect cover up for my misshapen nail-less toe.

I tossed a box of them in the cart and piled a bunch of other crap on top and hoped the cashier wouldn't notice.

I went home and glued them on and....

waa laah!

They look fabulous.

I shit you not.

I now have 10 perfectly manicured (French no less) toes. Love them.

And there you have it.

This N That

2007-07-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

Last night I took Brooke Lynne to her dance class. I think it was her 4th one. One of the older students sat beside me and started talking... she asked which kid was mine... I pointed out my adorable child and she asked how long she's been dancing... I said 4 times, she looked surprised and said, "Wow, she is good!" I thought she was doing great, but I loved hearing it :)

I usually go in and exchanged pleasantries with the other moms then eventually I'll pull out a book and read... I was doing just that and eavesdropping at the same time. A small group on moms were discussing kind of upscale types of things and they were heavy in the throes of one upping each other. I was not threatened as I sat there armed with my Louis Vuitton bag. But it got really funny after a few minutes when one mom piped up that she bought her kids leotard at Target and it was perfectly fine, thank you. Ha! The next thing you know the moms started one downing each other. It went from hand me downs to confessions of thrift store purchases. I was about to pee myself. Hilarious. I loved it.

So, my tragus pierce is healing nicely. I am almost ready to go get the Industrial done... It's 90 bucks though!!! Haha that reminds me, I should have chimed in at the dance class that I just spent 60 dollars to have a heavily tattooed and pieced man puncture yet another hole in my ear. Ha. See if they could outdo me on that one...

I forgot if I mentioned that a while back I took out my nose pierce and my tongue bar. I figured that I could spare my kid the parent teacher conferences with me full of dangle charms on my head and in my mouth. But sometimes I want the nose ring back. But then I think, fuck, I'm too old for all this shit. Then I think fuck it, so what? So, I dunno.

I gotta go to PetSmart and my piercing dude is right in front of the shop.... Let's see if I can work my nerve up.

Lay-tah!

Feeling Squeemish?

2007-07-13T12:18:00.000-07:00

A year (or two) ago I had my left tragus pierced. Not sure if it would hurt (oh yes it did) how long it would take to heal (really fast, actually) and if it would have complications (had none) I decided to just get the one side done first.

Well, today I got up and decided to go get the right one done. Hey, it's nice to match.

Anyway, I went to a new place and the dude there was COOL. He was amped to do the "exotic" type of pierce that I wanted.... He took a huge amount of time explaining the procedure, explaining all of the tools and showing me all the tags that show everything is sterilized and sanitized. Maybe some people don't give a crap, but I really appreciated all the time, effort and info he gave me. Man, filling out all of the paper work, was crazy ...I've signed less paper buying cars before! Well, you know.

I guess they go through all of that because it's not a simple pierce (like on your lobe with a gun,) but due to it's location it's considered a body modification...

I told him I had the top of my ear pierced years ago (remember when everyone had that?lol) and it never healed properly and gave me a ton of problems. I'm glad it went out of style... He explained that when you get a piercing like that with a gun, it's more like an injury and it pushes the bone cartilage to the side and your body fights it.. These days they do the serious piercings with a beveled, hollow needle, one size larger than the gauge you want to wear and it actually removes the cartilage as it passes through. So it's a clear and even punch.. the jewelry goes in and it heals properly.

Nice huh? I found it fascinating and it made perfect sense.

So he took me back to the "Piercing Cage" which was an actual cage, iron bars and everything.... with these cool ass Gargoyles all pierced up and other dungeon type stuff.

He proceeded to pierce me.

Well, this is a difficult, very small part of your body to poke and mine of course is even smaller than most... this is a tough pierce and it has to be practically punched thru. So he punches it through and immediately says, "Man, it's over too far..." I am like... "Um, fuck dude, your joking right?"

Nope, he had to do it AGAIN.

Now that it's over, it is awesome and I do forgive him for that extra hole. I know it'll close without a mark. But damn, that sucked right out loud. You prepare yourself, psych yourself out... then bam. Have to have it done twice in the same area.

Yeouch.

When this one heals up, I am *so* going back for an Industrial pierce. That's twice in the same area. On purpose. And you can wear some heavy hardware with that one.

Damn.

Aren't you glad I don't post more often?

And I am outta here. Just. Like. That.

Bang!

2007-07-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

We had a fun 4th of July. We went to a little parade. Never did that with the kids before. I remember going to an assload of parades when I was a kid. Remember thinking, ugh, why do we havta go to a parrrraaaade? Boring. Well, we went and the kids loved it. Go figure. I was just thinking... ugh why do we havta go to a paaaaraade?

So, we were going to do the picnic thing and swim in the pool. It rained all afternoon, so that ruled that out.

Hubby acquired all sorts of things that leave the ground and burst into flames and make lotsa noise. Illegal they say. Oh, well. Try and prove it. It's all just a bunch of debris now. The kids had a blast, literally... they made it to almost 10pm. Then asked to go to bed. Jeesh.

Here is the fruit of my loins at the parade. I took about 50 pictures of lame ass parade shit. I will spare you. I think this picture is funny. It really shows the difference in the two. One is posing and the other is attacking her Barbie fruit snacks. A study in contrast. In more ways than one.

A few weeks (?) ago, I put the tortoise outside. She is doing great. Thriving. At first I put sand and hay in, but that got nasty when it rained. So, I took that out and put gravel in... that seemed to work excellent. Today I put her in her pan to soak and she crapped out a load of rocks! She ate the freaking gravel. What an IDIOT! Why would she eat fucking rocks? She always has plenty to eat... all the stuff she needs... I know she was not hungry.... but she ate the rocks. Of course I took all of that out, and bought some natural potting dirt. Plain no fertilizer, no additives... just dirt. What does she do? Eat the fucking dirt. As soon as I put her in, she started eating the dirt. So, I took that out. Now she has nothing. If she croaks I am so done with this crap. I went through the whole turtle deal. Now this fucking tortoise has an eating disorder. I don't get it.

And that's about it. Lay-tah.

Banged Up!

2007-07-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

This blog is starting to chronicle our illnesses and aches and pains. Man, does that mean I am getting old?

This is blog worthy.

To me anyway.

My baby (the 3 yr old) jumped down out of her chair to chase Daddy to the front door. Both girls do that to get several hugs and kisses bye-bye... well, she slipped on the ceramic tile and smashed her chin right on the floor. Of course it split wide open and blood started dripping.

I didn't know what to do!

This is the first time that one of my kids has bled. I am not kidding. I have a 5 yr old and the 3 yr old and this is the first time one of them has actually bled. We've had falls.... bumps, bruises and stuff, but no blood. Until today.

I am not kidding when I tell you that I felt actual fear and even sympathy pain for my baby. It hurt her so bad :(

So, it quit bleeding pretty fast and we were able to see, once we pried her hands off it. She has a split about a half inch long. I was really on the fence as to whether to take her to the hospital or even the doctors office. I can tell you right now, no way would she have let them suture it. Unless they sedated her.

So, as I held her, both of us covered in blood, Daddy ran out to buy butterfly stitches, scar ointment (wow, that was expensive but totally worth it) Tylenol and toys. He also brought me back a peanut butter cup to calm my nerves :D

She seems fine. Scared the crap out of us.

The worse part was feeling like I wasn't sure what EXACTLY to do. It was weird because it was such a borderline thing. I didn't know if I should take her to the hospital or do what we did.

I called my mom. For what it was worth. She said if it quit bleeding that fast and wasn't a huge, gaping wound that she really didn't need stitches.

So, that was our excitement for the day.

I have to go out and buy my other baby her first dance outfit. The tights, ballet shoes and leotards. She loved her dance class last week. We weren't sure if we should have her in ballet or the dance combo class. After she spent the hour with the dance teacher last week they felt that having her in ballet was just right for her. So, she is excited. So am I. All the other mommies were nice and helpful. So, I guess it'll be fun for both of us.

And that is about it.

Later!

Splitting

2007-06-27T09:35:00.000-07:00

Headache.

My God.

Horrible, aching head. I have raided the medicine cabinet. I am sure I have taken a lethal cocktail of drugs ...and still.

Headache.

Across my forehead. Yeouch. From temple to temple.

I never get headaches.

But,

I had to write to say..

My baby girl went to her first dance class last night

:)

It was adorable. She was so into it. Really serious. Trying hard. The teacher was awesome. Very young and patient. My kid was watching herself in the mirror. It was the coolest shit ever.

Loved it.

Now, I need more drugs.

Lay-tah.

Just Fucking Wretched

2007-06-20T15:07:00.000-07:00

Damn, I am really getting bad about posting in here. I am keeping so busy though. And, of course I still stop by and read everyone.

Interesting stuff going on out there in the blog world and I know you know what I mean.

Yup.

Oh, man. I think I had food poisoning the other day. Just as I was recovering from the other shit.... I ate ...get this ...are you ready? Sushi and bruschetta for lunch. 2 hours later I am retching in the bathroom. And continued to do so the entire night.

Now I know food poisoning isn't too bad if you can just unload and upchuck the entire mess out of you. I, however, cannot do that. Why? Because (this is a little known fact about me) I cannot vomit. Yup, you heard me. I cannot upchuck, puke, spew. Now you may think, hey, that's great... who wants to puke anyway? Trust me. You want to puke in the worse way when you have some rank ass sushi rolling around in your tummy. Or at least it didn't seem rank when I ate it. It seemed perfectly fine.

Anyway, it is physically impossible for me to vomit.

I had surgery to correct acid reflux about 11 years ago. I was miserable. I was so sick all the time. I had heartburn non stop. It was really awful. So after many years of treatment, tests and medication they did a surgical procedure to repair it.

And it worked!

The entire thing was a horror story in itself, I'll save that for another day, but anyway the end result was fabulous and I have not had a single second of heartburn since. Plus, I quit smoking at the same time.

But one of the possible side effects to the surgery was not being able to puke. It was nice throughout both pregnancies.... Morning sickness? I never had to run out of the room and barf... just kind of shudder and eat some more crackers.

But the other day? Man, what I would have given to be able to ralph that shit up.

Yup. It ain't pretty being me.

But it's all good.

And I am outta here. Just. Like. That.

LOL!

2007-06-16T13:56:00.000-07:00

I am such a confusing person. Sometimes I write (and say) stuff and later I go wtf? Did that even make sense? Usually not. I noticed in my post for "It ain't much" *see below* That picture is my hubby in the pool. Not the repair man. If I had a picture of the repair man in the pool, my hubby might not be such a nice guy, LOL! But I write like a freaking idiot sometimes. So bear with me. I'll be back to write a real post later. I am off to make these awesome mexican things for dinner. Some chicken strips, sour cream, seasoning, cheeses, tomato, romaine lettuce all wrapped in soft taco shells. Yum.

Crap

2007-06-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

I'm sick.

For over a week.

Finally went to the doctor. Or clinic rather. $70 bucks for them to flush some horrible stuff out of my ear. Poke and prod the other ear.

Tell me I have a double ear infection and a upper respiratory infection.

Send me off to the pharmacy for $150 worth of meds that will not even get me buzzed.

And that's about it.

Sing, sing a song.....

2007-06-07T04:44:00.000-07:00

Jay Bird was our cockatiel, who now resides with my mother. I used to let him out on his birdie play ground and he would flutter to the floor and walk around. He had some serious attitude. Once down on the floor he'd go looking for trouble, he'd duck his head down and run up to the cats who would back away in disgust. Just strut around like he owned the place. We'd be in the other room and hear him flutter and say "Jay Bird is on the prowl again" ....and eventually go find him and put him back on his playground. He would come looking for us. Very cute, very smart. He'd always try to participate in whatever we were doing.

The new puppy is a beagle. And has a taste for cockatiels. Nuff said.

Jay Bird is safe and sound these days.

So, you know me, I went out and bought a canary. It's my third one. The other two mysteriously died. I dunno if our house is kinda like a carbon minoxide filled mine shaft or what... but the other two dropped dead.

This one is still alive. And very rough looking. I chose him for his color. Of course. Color. I did not notice at the time that his beak was all crooked, his toes are all gnarled and he has curly feathers on his sides. He was a beautiful bright orange and I wanted him. In fact he is so genetically challenged, I named him Genary. Generic-Canary. My husband took to calling him Jerry for Jerry's Kids, but I thought that was a bit in poor taste. Even coming from him ;)

Anyway, the kids that work at the Pet Smart have no clue as to anything other than their next smoke break or if Fall Out Boy has on the proper guyliner. So, she could not tell me if it was male or female. The canary not Pete Wentz.

So, I took my chances. The reason you pay a $100 bucks is that you want a male that will sing. The other two canaries I had did not even so much as cheep. They were lame.

Yesterday, out of nowhere, Genary burst into song. It was awesome. He sat on his little perch and sang and sang. Beautiful and clear. It was kinda like Bette Midler. Not much to look at but wow, what a voice.

So, I love him.

I just hope he doesn't croak on me.

And I am outta here.

It ain't much...

2007-06-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

7:30 am the phone rings. First I am in amazement that I am still asleep and that the kids are still asleep. Hubby left out early to run a service call. Thinking it's him calling, I crawl across the bed, snatch the phone off the hook and growl "Hello?"
...and this cheerful as hell dude says "Hi! We'll be by to fix your clothes dryer before 9am! If we can't fix it, we'll give you 50 yards of line and 50 clothes pins!"

What?!

It was my husband's small appliance repair guy pal. Thankfully he is a friendly type person (hubby, that is) I am not. So, when shit breaks he calls someone he knows, because he knows everyone. Wanna see him? I'll put up a quick shot, but I'll pull it back down, we try to remain semi-anonymous, heh.
This is what a nice friendly guy looks like.....

You already know what I look like.

Man my kids were so BAD yesterday. I have no clue as to why. They just were. This is what two bad little kids look like...

And this is what a cat shit out of the litter box eating puppy looks like...

...and that's all I got.

I'm so rambling....

2007-05-22T12:50:00.000-07:00

I am in for a long, rough road. Leafing through OK magazine (for those who don't read trash, it's a trashy celebrity mag) and my five year old daughter thought every single guy was cute. Every one. She said.. "Ew... girls are NOT cute, but boys are."

The above mentioned child graduated Pre-K. It was adorable. They sang a bunch of songs and as each child was called up to accept their "diploma" the teacher announced what they wanted to be when they grew up. My child wanted to be a "Basketball Player." My husband and I looked at each other like, wtf? We have never heard her say that before. Later at home I asked her... she said, you know where they kick the ball around. Er, that's soccer, baby.

Speaking of school, I finished my 9 hour sewing course. It was cool. Nothing exciting, but fun. Learned a lot. I did craft some cute cell phone holders/cases. I put little patches on them little gems etc. Then I took pictures to put them in my store and the shots looked like CRAP. All washed out and just not good. I sent off for a photography kit. I already have a light cube but even that didn't help This new setup has a tripod, box, backgrounds and two lights. Hopefully it will work out well for the jewelry too. I did get the online store open. Check it out, www.turtlestones.com A real deal store with a shopping cart, site navagation and a checkout. I haven't put everything in it yet. I need better pictures. Of course I will keep Turtle Stones the blog too. I have an ad on it that Bizrate paid up front for a year.

YEA! I sold another ad on Celebrity Rant. It's true, you CAN make money on your blog. My husband can't believe it. Me either. Wish I had a big old blog like Perez Hilton. Now that dude make thousands a week off his.

I decided to set my Tortoise up outside. She was getting so big, so fast! I mean, I know she'll get big. She's an African spur side. They usually grow to a 100 pounds. The guy at the pet store (the big fat liar) said they grow slowly. Takes years for them to get big enough to live outdoors. Yeah, riiiight. We planned on keeping her inside for a couple years and when we buy our next house build her a pen out side. Well, she has tripled in size in just a few months! Eating romaine lettuce of all things. She eats a bowl of that a day and she has grown like a weed. She used to be the size of a GI Joe helmet now she is as big as my fist.

So, I set her up in the same fashion as I did the turtles. Only with her, she needs a shallow pan of water. Does not need to swim, only soak once in a while. She gets her water from her food. So, no messy, stinky water. That was the whole problem with the turtles. They got fucking filthy. I still miss 'em. But I think Olivia will be very happy outside, it is so hot out and they love that.

What else... the puppy has grown. But the rat is bigger. I am going to post a picture. You will not believe it. Our pet rat (named Boogie) is actually larger than the puppy. The puppy is not tiny. He's a freaking beagle. But yeah, the rat is huge and a tad scary looking. He's a lover boy, but intimidates me a bit. He has turned into my husbands pet. He feeds him pop tarts. Don't eat pop tarts ladies. They will make you fat as a Boogie Rat. Trust me, I know ;)

my chinchilla Louis is a trip. I have finally started dragging him out of his cage and making him sit with me. He acts all offended but I think he secretly likes it. I was standing with my back to him talking to my husband and I felt him tugging and pulling on my shirt. He was like, "HEY!! Pay attention to ME!" It's like having another kid, lol.

Speaking of....

The girls are nagging the living shit out of me. They want to go swimming this afternoon. We've been in the pool the last two weekends and it is bliss. I love it. A tad cool, but niiiiiiice.

My hubby brought me home a Sonic Cherry Lime-ade slush. I heart him.

And, I am outta here. Just. Like. That.

Get Out!

2007-05-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

I have no privacy. Maybe that's why I blog. Guess I don't give a shit.

Speaking of....

Sitting on the toilet accompanied by my 5 year old, as always.... I don't think I have peed, pooped anything alone in almost 5 years.

Anyway,

...she says, "Momma, you have a spot of browwwn on your underwear....mmm hmm...what is that? Huh? I see it, what is thaaaat?"

Not even looking, just peeing quickly, I get up and say... "Um, no, this is nothing on my underwear". There never is, at least not brown.

A tiny bit of red maybe if I am not extremely careful.... but she hasn't seen that, yet. I hide and be real quick, stealth even.

But brown nope. Poop is brown.

Later, I pee again look down and wouldn't you know it, there is a tiny SPECK.

Tiny. Minuscule. Really.

I laugh and go to her room, I say.... "You know what? There IS a tiny bit on my underpants." (thong actually).

Triumphantly she says, "See! I told ya, now go change 'em."

Happy Day

2007-05-13T04:29:00.000-07:00

On a more somber note, it was a year ago today that my grandmother passed away. Although we weren't close by any stretch of the imagination, I hope she knew that I loved her and that I cared. It isn't easy to love the women in my family. I hope that at least now she knows. Knows everything and can understand. Where everyone was coming from.

In all that has passed and all that is to come, I hope that I can be the best Mother to my girls. I think I already am. I want to give them all the things I never had. Love, guidance and words. Understanding and direction. Forgiveness and comfort. I want them to know how deep my love runs. Everyday I give them more hugs and kisses than I gathered throughout my entire childhood. I hope that it's enough.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you Moms out there!

My Naked Mouth

2007-05-08T06:56:00.000-07:00

It is smoky as all hell outside. The winds are blowing the fires from Georgia and here in Florida. At least that's what they said on the radio. That is a long ass way for smoke to travel, but I guess it is. I most certainly hope that they don't send the kids out to play at school today. Two more weeks and summer. We got a note yesterday offering summer school. Man, my kid would be so pissed :)

One thing for sure I have to find a way to end this squabbling those two do. That shit gets on my nerves. I mentioned it to my mom and she just laughed and said "oh, that's what kids do..." Thanks mom.

I went to the sewing class it's a 9 hour thing. I do the next three hours tomorrow. Then the last 3 next week. It was fun. Nothing exciting but it was pretty cool. I was very surprised to see all the adorable patterns that are available for little girls. I could not believe how cute some of the stuff is. Not to mention the huge range of fabrics. It is for sure nothing like the clothes our moms used to make. Or maybe I just think this way because now, I'm a mom.

I want to learn how to do the basic sewing thing. I'd like to find some cool fabric and make cell phone holders to hook on the strap of your purse. I also noticed some patterns for tote bags and cute little purses. I'd like to come up with some original designs and put cell phone cases and handbags in my online store. I actually got it up and running. I still have to put more of my stock in it. It's turtlestones.com ....it shows in a yahoo search, but I don't think it shows in a google search. I dunno why. Maybe because it's a yahoo store?

Amanda is coming right along with the potty training thing. Poop and all. I am so freaking happy. I still put a pull up on her at nap/bedtime but she is now "potty trained"!

We finally found beds. They are very excellent and exactly what we needed. We went with white wood and they each have 3 big drawers. I actually got all of their clothes in those drawers. I packed away their winter stuff. The girls are loving their big new beds. And yes, they look huge compared to their little toddler beds. I sorted through all of their stuff, toys, clothes and the old toddler beds, mattresses ...we donated it all to charity.

Earlier, as I was pulling out of the driveway I noticed I had no lipstick on. All my makeup done and my lips were "primed" with foundation, but I forgot the color. It looked weird, I remarked to the girls, "crap, I forgot my lipstick..." When I dropped Brooke Lynne off at school she hugged me and then turned around to yell, "Hey! We gave away all of our toys and beds to the poor people and my mom forgot her lipstick!"

And I am outta here.

This N That

2007-05-02T06:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I had a great birthday.

Hubby sent me a huge bouquet of flowers! I was so surprised. They are beautiful. I love flowers.

We went out shopping around for new beds for the girls. They still have their toddler beds.

Twin beds look so HUGE compared to the little tiny beds they have now. We want to find just the right ones.... with drawers underneath and a simple headboard. Nothing too climbable. No way we can go the bunk bed route although they had some freaking awesome looking sets, complete with shelves, desks and storage spaces. But I know Amanda will climb, fall and break an arm. I just know.

Speaking of the little devil... everywhere I took her yesterday she acted like a snotty little brat. People always want to talk to her and she disses them. Turns her head away. It is awful. Brooke Lynne is always so friendly and outgoing to every one... Amanda hates the attention. Such polar opposites those two.

So, let's see... we had KFC for dinner last night. Pretty bad when that is the best food we had all week. I am not into cooking. Sad, I know. Trust me, no one is starving around here, but cooking is not my forte. I do a little shake and bake and call it a day.

Well, that's about it....

Oh yeah, I am taking a sewing class (dorky I know) but I gotta get out of the house. It's a total of 9 hours. I have no clue as to why I am going. Stir crazy.... I guess. I am going to work my way through the entire list of classes. Painting, calligraphy, scrap booking.. okay maybe not scrap booking... but you get the drift.

And....

I am outta here. Just. Like. That.

It's My Birf-day!

2007-05-01T06:53:00.000-07:00

To Meeeee!

The more things change...

2007-04-29T04:13:00.000-07:00

...the more they stay the same.

My mother. What can I say?

Now that everything is settled and done away with, she acts like nothing happened. Like nothing was wrong. Like I wasn't treated horribly.

Grandma's house sold at the end of last summer. Some strangers are living there now. I drive past it every day. All her stuff was thrown away and sold. Along with the two things I wanted, asked for and was denied. I guess if I had purchased them, paid for them, coughed up some cash, I might have them.

But it's better this way.

So, as you know she did not come here, a half a mile from her house for the holidays. Not even for my girls.

She stopped by, brought them gifts. Did the required thing. But that's about it.

Easter rolled around. I invited her quietly, with no children listening... a whispered invitation over the phone ...she declined, of course. She stopped by, before Easter and brought the girls some candy. On her way out, my 5 year old asked her "Grandma are you coming for Easter dinner?"

...she told my baby "no".

That hurt more than volumes of heartache.

And there is plenty more where that came from.

I said to her, mouthed it over my daughter's shoulder as I shook my head and finger at her, "you know, they are getting older, they know..."

She shrugged and got in her car and drove away. Running over my heart in the driveway. I left it out there.

That's okay....
I'll grow a new one and I will not share it with her.

Just blah blah blah....

2007-04-27T05:32:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been a week. I remember back when I used to update the old blog at least 4 or 5 times a week.

I keep busy. I guess you could say I'm a tad hyper :)

The true fact is that if I sit down in the recliner during the day, I will fall asleep! I cannot stop moving or I crash out. It's all or nothing with me. heh heh.

I got over my freak out `over the Louis Vuitton. Hubby explained that since the kids have joined us, we've both been neglected in the gift department. Plus, when you get old and decrepit like us, you just buy the crap you need as you go along.

I think back to all those years before I had kids and I was so selfish and self centered.. Oh, I know, everyone is thinking. "What?! YOU? Never!" Ha!

These days I hit the stores, buy a bunch of junk for everyone else and I am happy to do it. My needs are simple. So, selfless... hope you catch the *wink, wink*. I never take myself too seriously.

I keep meaning to post about my mom. I know a lot of you who read my old blog wonder how that is doing. The whole er, um, "relationship" ... meh... whatever. I'll do a post on it this weekend.

No school today. Dunno why. Teachers blah blah... in service something... yeah... I am still hating the preK- school I choose. However I was ecstatic, I was literally ecstatic when I got the letter stating that we got her into our first choice school. In Florida we have a choice thing... you pick three schools and hope you get the one you want. I did and I did. I actually spent time on the computer and talking to local friends with kids around here. Researched all the f-cat, testing, rating, scores... junk.. blah blah... and I think I made a good choice.

Once I get the kids going in public school and if it turns into a nightmare they'll go to private school. I attended St. Marys up until high school and the difference was astounding. I was disgusted when I landed in public school. It was such a culture shock. The students, teachers everything. Sucked. So, we'll start out this way and see how it goes. If we have to put them in public school, I'd have to work. Gah!

I like my life just the way it is.

I am a lucky Bitch.

Oh yeah, I opened up a online store. a REAL store with a shopping cart and site navigation. Now I just have to figure it all out. It's not open for business yet, but I am working on a launch, hopefully Monday. Yea. Wish me luck. ;)

Happy day, all.

Lesson learned, duly noted...

2007-04-20T18:07:00.000-07:00

Guess what?

Louis Vuitton refused to credit me for the purse I returned. This is after I bought an "exchange" purse, used it and so on.

This is after I was assured by the customer service bitch that they would promptly refund the total and it was perrrfectly fine to just order another bag in exchange...

"Oh, in fact the charges will most likely cross each other out. No problem."

Apparently Louis Vuitton has a team of bitchy people who spend their lives inspecting each and every return and deeming it "unreturnable" (is that a word?) if it is so much as removed from it's precious fancy box. Apparently if you so much as touch the leather, it will "cure" and be deemed unresellable (is THAT a word?)

Actually, I have the perfect word:

Fucked

....to the tune of several hundred dollars for an extra purse when we already bought another one (which I love) and a fucking Wapity case (which I love) to boot!

I am not kidding. I sent it back.

And they sent it back.

And there is nothing I can do about it.

My husband thinks it's funny. He is insane.

All he said was, "Well, um, Happy Birthday again."

SCORE!

Whoopsie!

2007-04-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

I just dropped the puppy.

Outside.
On his head.
On the cement.

He screamed for about 30 seconds. Which is a long time for a animal to cry/scream.

I carried him to the deck and put him down.... his brothers (all the other dogs) rushed to him and checked him over.

He shook it off.

Scared the living shit out of me.

Moving right along.....

I am so bummed.

The pet store we shop at all the time is closing. This is very inconvenient for me. I mean, c'mon... how could they do this to me?

I go there for EVERYTHING!

All the hamster, rat, bird, chinchilla, fish and guinea pig food. All the chew toys, cages, aquariums... Medicines for when the little bastards get sick. Even buy Frontline there. A "prescription" flea medicine I use on all of our dogs and cats!

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

We are, like, friends, with these people. When I stopped in to scarf up some 1/2 off going out of business merchandise.... they gave me hugs and we all exchanged phone numbers.

*sniff*

And to add insult to injury, our vet who is super lenient with us... has semi retired and is moving to a new location. Fuck. We went to him for almost 10 years!

Now that new place will fuck with us. Make us vaccinate all the damn time. I really do not think vaccines are needed unless you board your pet or take them to a park or something social, where they come in direct contact with other dogs.

We have a cat (Kia) that has kidney disease. He has to have a prescription diet. We buy it by the 20 pound bag and feed it to all of the cats. It actually safe guards them from getting crystals in their urine, which leads to kidney disease. Kia cannot eat regular food. After 3 years on this diet, we slipped him off it and feed him OTC urinary tract food. Within a month he was crying, bleeding and licking. Totally infected and in pain. We had to dose him with antibiotics and get him back on that diet.

Most vets make you keep checking the urine, make vaccines mandatory etc. etc. Translation? Cha-CHING! More money spent when all he really needs is the food and maybe a yearly check up.

Now, we have to get the new puppy neutered and I am at a loss as to where to go... I guess we'll try the new place where Dr. R is now.... We have about 4 months to figure it out. They won't neuter until he's 6 months.

Plus, when they told me they were closing the vet office, I bought three 20 pound bags of cat food. Yup, that's 60 pounds of kibble. Hey, what can I say? that's how I roll.

Um, let's see ....what else?

I pulled my back out while I was twisting to get under the fucking sink, which is leaking. Again.

I cleaned out my closet and put an assload of my designer bags and wallets on ebay. I had quite a few more than I thought I did. I just don't want them anymore. You know what they say... Once you have a Louis Vuitton, nothing else will do.

I know... shut up.

Critter Update

2007-04-17T07:58:00.000-07:00

Lets see...

The new puppy is adorable. Named Monte. Hubby just had to have him. Me? I am never in the mood for a puppy. I have to admit, he is really cute and so sweet. However, I simply hate the house breaking and chewing phase. He really hasn't chewed on anything but us, but I still live in fear that he will destroy my only pair of decent shoes and then I will be on an endless hunt for new ones.

And that would be tragic.

The chinchilla is so cool! He is not exactly like I expected. I thought he'd be a bit easier to handle. He really doesn't want to come out of his cage, (neither would I, he's got a pretty nice set up in there, hammock, tubes, chew toys....) but he is very friendly. He like to sit and eat from my hand. I pour some treats in my palm and he'll sit there and pick out what he likes. He really loves sunflower seeds. He's super clean, if you'll note in the picture, he craps tiny little poo's and they are dry and odorless. In that shot he is eating a pop tart!

Nice. Easy to care for. He lets me hold his little paws and I shake them like little hands. I am working with getting my palm under him, so he'll sit in my hand and hopefully he'll get to the point of coming out and taking treats while he sits in my lap or on my knee. I named him Louis (Louie) ...thanks to Connie Jane for the idea:)

My kids are doing great... still working on the pooping. Today, my 3 year old is doing "Art". She drew her first ever "person".. it was actually pretty good. I could tell what it was. I noticed that she is drawing with her left hand. Big Sister is also left handed. Neither one of us is a lefty and no other close relative is either. I think that is so unusual that I have 2 out of 2 kids that are going to be left handed.

I am fine about that. I remember teachers/nuns who used to torture kids that naturally used their left hand. Tied their left arm behind their back... hit them with rulers. Yeah, I grew up old school. That is seriously fucked up! Let it be!

My morning has flown by as they usually do....

I did put up a thing on Celebrity Rant. My friends at Ballz are doing a contest promo for my jewelry store Turtle Stones. That is so cool. I have met so many awesome people out here in Internet land.

Especially everyone that stops by to read my poop and pet stuff.

Here is a shot of the chinchilla looking like road kill..

Gotta love it.

Peace!

Hell Yeah!

2007-04-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

My kid pooped!

On the potty!

For the very first time. We are so freaking happy.

We started the potty training thing about a month ago. It was 2 1/2 weeks of her peeing on the floor until she finally started going on the potty. She was holding out on the poop though. She would wait for nap or bedtime then go in her pull-up. The other day she came walking out from her nap and said,

"Momma, you need to clean my ass."

I have no clue where she gets that shit from.

So, um, YEA!!!

The Long Drawn Out Story Of My Louis Vuitton Fetish

2007-04-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

Well.... I am so bad. Really. Bad and spoiled and a glutton for pricey bags. I think it's because I have unfortunate feet. Flintstone feet that are simply impossible to fit. When I find a pair of shoes that fit, I buy them and I wear those shoes until I cannot wear them another minute. Then I have to go out and do an endless search for the next pair. It sucks. I look longingly at all those cute adorable shoes and I can never have them.

So, I buy handbags. Usually Coach. Love Coach. But, I always wanted a Louis Vuitton. They are ridiculous in price. Really. It's insane. So, as you know, I actually scored a Louis for my Birthday. Hubby gave it to me early. Like a month or more early. I practically swooned when I opened the box. You should have seen the freaking BOX it came in. Fancy. Faaaancy.

Anyway, what's a girl to do when she gets a new purse? Long for a matching wallet. So, I go online and start cruising the Louis Vuitton site for accessories. I don't really use a wallet, just a case for my cards and to hold a few bucks. I stopped carrying my check book. Anyway... of course the prices are staggering. My husband comes up behind me, busts me out looking and tells me to buy one. I told him he was INSANE and that I was a very bad girl to be so selfish and spoiled to not be happy with the horrendously expensive bag he just bought me. That I was simply ashamed of myself :)

Oh wait, it gets better.

He insists that I buy one, says that he understands the need for a matching wallet. He really does. He gets it. And he is excellent in bed. Too. I am truly blessed.

But I digress.

So, we wrangle over it. I try to weakly protest and he continues to insist. I swear the man wore me down ;) So I pick out this:

It arrives and I LOVE IT! A Louis Vuitton "Wapity" case. Zips around, holds all my cards and even my fucking cell phone and has a detachable wrist strap. It was actually bigger than I expected. Way bigger. I pulled everything out of the purse and put it ALL in the Wapity case.

That got me to thinking about the design of the purse I picked. It's the camera bag type and frankly, it's a bitch to get stuff in and out of the narrow zipper opening. I had to squeeze the wapity in and I was in cold blooded fear that I would scratch it over time.....

So, what's a girl to do? I pack it back up , return it and order this:

The "Trotteur" monogram purse. Sensible, classic style, wide zipper across the top, roomy inside with a zipper pocket....almost the same cost as the other one.

Damn.

I am one lucky Bitch. I know. I KNOW!

fuck you you fucking fuck (no, not you)

2007-04-08T09:54:00.000-07:00

With all of the Mommies cooking up a fabulous dinner who has time to blog?

Me that's who.

Why, you might ask?

Oh, I had the grandiose plans of a turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

In fact, I went out on Friday and bought every damn thing I could possibly think of to cook for Easter this year. I usually do not make Easter dinner. These days the kids are getting older. They expect shit. Time to step it up a bit.

You know.

This morning I wrangle the turkey out of the fridge. I bought a thawed(fresh) one figuring I might not have time to defrost it. I slice open the bag and I am hit with a fucking smell. A stench, a meaty, thick, rank ass, nasty smell.

Oh, hell no.

I look at the date on the tag. It expired on the 4th. I bought it on the 6th.

TODAY IS THE 8th.

I am beyond pissed.

I call Publix (That's right, I said it .....P-U-B-L-I-X) No answer. Of course.

I throw that rotten bastard in my van and I drive there, knowing full well that they will be closed, but it is something that I have to do. So I can GLARE at their cheerful,

"SORRY! We are closed on Easter!" sign.

Ass hats. Is that two words or one?

I then drive to Winn Dixie, which I despise, leave the dead rotten bird in my vehicle and stomp my way back to the meat department.

I look, and look at their empty fucking cases. Why are they empty? Because normal people bought all the turkeys and hams already and they are home in their nice, cozy homes roasting their freshly dead animals while I am driving around town with a rotten, stinking fucking turkey in my van.

So, I buy some steaks and call it a day.

But tomorrow is another day and I am laying for Publix. Oh, yes. I put the turkey in the freezer. I should have set it out in the yard overnight and then took it back.

But I am nice like that.

However, I am taking it back. And shoving it straight up sumbuddies ass. Tag and all.

Happy Easter!

2007-04-08T06:14:00.001-07:00

Great.

2007-04-08T06:12:00.000-07:00

Look what the Easter Bunny brought us.

Remind me to kill that rabbit.

Hocus Pocus

2007-04-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

2 years ago we bought Amanda a "green bunny" from Dollar Tree. It was just a little stuffed toy we tossed in the cart. Well, for some reason she is in love with Green Bunny. She carries him everywhere, sleeps with him and talks about him when we are away from him.

It's so cute.

If we go out for more than an hour or so, she misses him. As soon as we hit the door she seeks him out. Needless to say, he is becoming very raggy. I have washed him, sewn him and dusted him off so many times.

Last year around Easter, I looked for a new one. Nope. They had white and pink ones. No green. This year, I stopped in and lo and behold.....

There was a Green Bunny!

The exact same thing. I practically hyperventilated when I saw it. Grabbed him out and searched the bin. He was the only green one. I snuck him home. Thinking, no way will she fall for a switcheroo. The old bunny is matted and lopsided. Pretty beat up.

What to do, what to do?

I put the new one in the dryer with a load of towels. I came out with the basket and said "Oh, look! Bunny had a bath and I put him in the dryer this time! See? He's all fresh and fluffy!" In the past I have had to wrestle him away to wash him and he never makes it to the dryer. Never. She gets him back wet. She simply can't make it the 30 minutes it takes to tumble him dry.

So, she inspected him very carefully. Sized him up and in her 3 year old logic decided that, yes, the dryer did indeed make him fresh and fluffy.

Whew.

We were literally terrified as to what we were gonna do when Green Bunny finally disintegrated.

This buys us a few more years.

If only everything were this simple.

Holy Fucking Shit!

2007-04-02T07:32:00.000-07:00

Sushi and Tyra

2007-04-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

Long time no post.

Great news! I sold an ad on Celebrity Rant. For a lot! I was shocked... they pay by the month, up front. For a YEAR!!!! Yea! I am planning on buying some very cool dichroic glass and doing some different wraps and stuff. Turtle Stones has been doing well. I have the ad for it up and around and people are getting to the site and buying stuff! It's slow going but I am happy!!!

I have been enjoying my baby home on Easter vacation for the last week. Playing Barbies and giving her My Little Pony's braided tails.

I put in for her school choice. Kindergarten!!! I looked into each one very carefully. Especially after the shitty choice I made for her PreK. Actually it would have been perfect if she had landed in the other class! I don't know. I like the teachers personally.... just not the way they don't teach the class.

Hubby is going to the St. Pete Grand Prix today. I want him to stay home and suffer with me. Ha! That's okay, I will be taking a few classes this month. 3 hours a night. I will be getting a little break away from the kids. Go me.

Oh, I just love my chinchilla. Love him. He is so cool. I have not named him yet. Which drives my daughter and husband crazy. I am calling him "Mommy's Baby" for now.

He sleeps all day. In the late afternoon, night and early morning he is up and ready for action. I put my hands in his cage and he sits in my palms. I sloooowly bring him out, give him a hug then put him back. Last night I let him loose and he went behind the TV. I had visions of a fried little rodent after he bit a cord or something... so I called him back out and he actually came to me, I scooped him up and put him back in the cage. We'll need to chinchilla proof the house a bit.

I can read him like book. When he is bright eyed and his eyes are shiny and round he wants to interact.... when he has sleepy eyes he wants me to leave him the fuck alone. It's kinda obvious.

We are going to buy an portable air conditioner for the room he is in. We have central air conditioning, of course, but in the brutal hot summer sometimes this added room is not cool enough. Chinchillas cannot be in heat of more than 80 degrees... even a couple degrees hotter can kill him! Actually they say it shouldn't get any warmer than 77! Their fur is so thick and dense and they do not sweat or even pant... So, they can die rather easily! That would suck.

So, I have big plans for this afternoon. I have some sushi and a big cinnamon bun waiting. I'll put the baby down for her nap... Me and the big kid will play Barbies...maybe I'll make some more jewelry. Or I'll veg out in my recliner and watch some Tyra or Dr. Keith.... Yup. Real, REAL exciting.

Holla!

Ch Ch Ch Chinchilla!

2007-03-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

Aw, looook. Ain't it cute?

I know. We need to buy a farm.

Small Furry Things

2007-03-23T15:26:00.000-07:00

My husband pisses me off.

I know. Don't they all?

He nagged me and NAGGED me and pestered me about another guitar. Another one.

Until I caved under the pressure.

It took him a long time to wear me down. Eons.

Now, I will exact my revenge in a like manner. I am thinking and thinking of some horribly expensive item, purely for me and totally decadent.

Like, maybe a Louis Vuitton.... never had one. Always wanted one. So many fake ass ones around they are sorta played out.

Oh man, listen..........................

........................................

He is out there jammin'.

Plugged the fuck in.

Maybe I'll get a chinchilla.

Assault and Barbie

2007-03-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

I am upset.

When I went to pick my beautiful and perfect child up from school yesterday I was informed that she "hit" another kid. This kid just so happens to be the same kid that she is always arguing with and the same kid that pisses her off yet begs to be her friend thus resulting in girly screaming matches of:

"YOU are NOT my friend."

So, the aide, because God knows there is never an actual fucking teacher there, informs me that she hit this girl and handed me a paper to sign.

WTF?

My kid got written up. For her first offense. I was beyond mortified that she did that. Hitting is unacceptable.

We do not do that. She knows.

I hate the class she is in. I always look with envy at the other preK class. the SAME teacher is always there. The SAME aide is always there. They are present with their class and on their feet all the time, interacting. For heavens sake, I watched that teacher bunny hop across the yard with her class. What does my kid get? A fucking aide that is too busy dishing out lunch to monitor 18 five year olds.

Now, I know my child was totally wrong. Trust me she got in TROUBLE. At home when she messes up it's 5 minutes in time out. When she messes up in school it's 10 minutes. And a lecture. Which I really think she secretly loves.

Today she was to apologise to said hit child and I told her that if I ever have to WRITE MY NAME on a piece of paper saying that she did something that damn bad that I would TAKE AWAY her Barbies.

Do you know what she said?

"Mamma, those are MY Barbies."

Not for long, honey. Not for long.

Put on a little make-up make-up

2007-03-19T08:29:00.000-07:00

I am a magazine whore. Love them. Currently I get Glamour, Cosmo, Jane and OK delivered right to my door.

I will generally pick up one or two at the grocery store. You know Star and that kinda thang.

Yes, I love Americas Next Top Model. The fashion and makeup, the art and photography and the bitchiness. I love it.

So, I am sitting on the toilet... thumbing thru Glamour and there is an entire page of these surgical free ways to use make up to camouflage signs of aging.

*sob* I am showing aging signs.

I cannot afford Botox.

Well, I could if I wanted to skip the mortgage and stuff like that.

But man, that would piss my husband off.

But then he could bang me all wrinkle free. Hmmm....

Where was I?

So, I see this ad for all these cool makeup things. And I have to have it. All of it.

So, I went out and got it. All.

And I love it.

There is even this one eye concealer thing that has a muscle relaxer in it. Supposed to relax the skin around your eyes. I think it did.

I put all of it on and I swear, I look lighter and brighter.

So, yeah. I'm a 'dude. But I still like makeup and nail polish.

I know. I know.

Still Bizarre

2007-03-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

Oh my yes. I actually called the next day and talked to the gma (who also lives there) and she said it was legit, the mom hurt her ankle. Not broken though.

Still, who does that? Sends their 16 year old kid next door and have them ask for your vehicle. To take to the hospital for hours and hours?

Then decline a ride?

Is that normal? God, sometimes I just don't know.

Then today the grandmother says to my husband... Oh, your lawn service kicked a stone at my truck and it left a mark.

Like what in the fuck are we supposed to do? I should have had that Bitch sign a release.

Sue happy litigious hag.

Gasp

What an evil little post this turned out to be.

I need to blog more often.

Lots more where that came from.

Not a fucking chance, kid

2007-03-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

Knock knock...

On my door.

My dogs go CRAZY. I feel very safe. I have a pit bull, and an ass load of ankle biters.

I do not open the door when I am "alone" ...I go to the window, which is right at the front door and look out. I don't just open it because I have a pack of retarded dogs that will jump, bark and possibly bite whom ever is at the door. It is also a good deterrent to those Watch Tower people. It gives me the excuse that, oh no, I can't possibly open the door *bark bark growl bark* my dogs will bite. What? What was that? I just can't hear you! My dogs are barking. It really puts people off and I love it. Besides I have a little sign that says:

"NO SOLICITATION OF ANY KIND"

You'd be surprised at how many people ignore that shit. And live to regret it.

So, back to the knocking at my door.

I look out and there is a rather pretty, yet heavily made up girl about 16 years old with very dark pulled back hair. Kinda tall, heels etc. I slide open my window and say "Can I help you..." She stammers and points next door.. "Um, my mom..." THEN the light bulb goes off. This is my freaking neighbor kid. The one I have lived next door to for 7 years! The one that looked 12 and was blonde just the other day. I was like, um... "Miranda?! Shit, girl, I did not even recognize you... what's up?" She says... "My mom broke her ankle, can I take your van and drive her to the hospital"

Um, hell no.

These are not responsible people. They have done numerous things to us. Stole our garbage service and our garbage. Used MY NAME, don't even ask..... and bothers my husband to do a bunch of shit until he started saying "no".... I could go on... You get the picture. Besides, I am looking at their driveway and they have a car and a truck sitting there. WTF?

So, I say... "OMG! Listen, no way can I let you take my van. I just can't... besides you aren't even 16 yet..." She quickly said "Yes, I am!" Oh yeah, her 16th birthday was last week... Um, fuck no. Hell no, not a chance, kiddo.

Are these people for real?

Did they think I was going to hand over the keys to my 30 thousand dollar, PAID FOR, late model van? (NO, I am not bragging, who brags about a fucking mini van?) But man, it's nice. Fully loaded, sunroof, leather... electric everything and I love it. Seriously... love it and it's 5 star safety rating. LOVE IT. Who loves a mini van? I do.

And I am not ashamed.

So, after the shock and horror of her request passes through my brain, I say "Look, if your mom broke her ankle, I will be more than happy to drive you guys to the hospital (keep in mind that I have a 3 and a 5 year old to drag along) But I am willing to do this. I am a good neighbor. I leave your garbage and your name the fuck alone.

God, I love writing in parathensis.

So, she like, "um no... I'll try to drive the car." (I am guessing it's a stick?)

What the hell? So, I keep peeking out the window and no one has left.

Okay?

If I have a broken ankle, I am going to accept a ride. I will not send my (freshly) 16 year old kid over to ask the neighbor if she can take your fucking vehicle and leave you stranded with two little kids and no transportation. Then sit there with an alleged broken ankle. And do nothing.

Weirdness.

I am just sayin'

Hard to swallow....

2007-03-15T10:31:00.000-07:00

My bestest gay boyfriend came over today. And you know how that goes...

We had a blast.

I cut his hair, he tried on all of my latest jewelry designs. We drank Cherry Kool-aid and yakked away. And gabbed and gossiped.

After he left, I noticed I had a raging sore throat.

This is sad and pathetic.

Because my throat is sore from all that talking.

Gah!

I guess I am so quiet all day... with just the kids and even then it's only one at a time... Mornings one in school, the other napping in the afternoon.

I need to get a life.

Seriously.

Or make some more friends.

I am just not a big talker. In fact I am seriously very dude-like. My husband? He is a total woman. He calls all his friends on the phone. Talks to his grandma everyday.

Me?

Not so much.

I was a hair stylist for so long... I got very used to listening to people talk. I would just let them go with it. Amazing some of the things I have been told.

So, anyway.... I just thought it was funny. That I talked myself into a sore throat.

It was fun.

:)

Dozed

2007-03-15T03:57:00.000-07:00

I dreamed I was working all night long. Rearranging all of the furniture in this huge house.

I woke up exhausted.

Huh?

2007-03-14T16:29:00.000-07:00

I am several days into potty training hell. She has unloaded a full out crap attack in her undies twice. Peed a few hundred times. On the floor.

I leave the house for a half an hour and I come home to a kid wearing a pull-up.

Daddy does not seem to be on board here. At least he has a whole new appreciation for how my week has went.

Apparently she peed twice in a row. As soon as the fresh underwear hit her she peed again. He put a pull up on her... said he stepped in a puddle.

Jeesh.

Men.

There was something else I was going to write about. In fact I wasn't even going to post on pee.

I cannot remember.

I am old. And senile.

Sad innit?

I know, Barbie is a whore.

2007-03-12T13:26:00.000-07:00

I am looking for Barbie stuff. Lots and lots of Barbie stuff. My two girls are in a Barbie frenzy. FINALLY. Which means I get to play too.

I bought every Barbie outfit at Walmart this weekend. At this rate it'll take us years to get a good collection going. I want it now!

I know that eventually little girls out grow their Barbie stuff so if you have some stuff (especially clothes and accessories) and want to make a little cash ...email me!!

I know I don't have as many readers over here as I did at the other blog, but hey, you never know.

Barbie can never have enough stuff. Never.

Poop, Tattoos & Ass Hats

2007-03-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

I kinda dropped the ball on the potty training last week. We bought two packs of underwear for her, she peed through them in 2 days.

This weekend we bought 16 freaking pairs! I am ready. First thing this morning, she unloaded in the first pair. Took a huge dump. In her defense, I don't think she could have held THAT in if she tried.

My head feels like it may explode. Can we say ....sinus pressure?
I am trying to quit the nose spray cold turkey. I think heroin would be easier. No, I've never tried it. Quitting that is. Ha!! JOKING!!! Jeesh.

Enough on the bodily functions and drug addiction.

Oh, man. That reminds me.... I got behind this huge, gnarly woman at Walmart. Yeah, I know... imagine that. She was just covered in Tattoo's (I have a few myself, but you can't see 'em) ...anyway, she had the Alcoholic Anonymous creed written on the back of her leg. Um, yeah, a good way to remind yourself (and others) that you may have had the courage to undergo two hours of a tattoo gun, the serenity that that tattoo is forever and the wisdom to write out a paragraph on the back of your leg. Good thinking... wonder if she was drunk at the time?

Moving right along to financial disaster. A client wrote a check for almost a grand. Hubby deposited it. I go around town spending it, like I think I can. Next thing ya know, our bank balance is WRONG! Drastically wrong. WTF? Come to find out, they put a hold on the check... then it bounced ...then they subtracted it TWICE out of our account. 3 fucking phone calls to the ass hats at Bank Of America (oh, yes, I'll say it right out loud) and they finally fixed it. Now hubby has to chase down the dumb ass that bounced the check. Or we will be out $965. Oh, the joys of owning your own business.

And that's about it around here, but hey, it's only Monday.

This Blows

2007-03-11T14:33:00.000-07:00

I cannot get my nose clear. Ew, yuck. Yeah. Whatever. It is driving me insane. Really it is.

It started a while ago, stuffy nose. I used nasal spray because I hate the way cold medicine makes me feel. And it works. Insanely well. Until you overuse it.

Then things get nasty and go drastically wrong.

Then you end up with a severally blocked nasal passage that you can only open with...

you guessed it.

More nasal spray.

Either that or I am deathly allergic to these cats. The bitches sleep on my pillow. I am more than willing to do away with a few of 'em. But I just know my kids would notice.

And get mad.

Yeah.

Potty Time

2007-03-05T07:40:00.000-08:00

Amanda had a excellent birthday.

The next day we went to Target and bought her 2 packs of new undies. I bought her underwear last year, but she was in no way receptive to the idea. At all.

So, here we go again. Anyone who has been reading (my old blog) will maybe remember the hell I went through trying to train Brooke Lynne. It was rough. She wanted nothing to do with the potty. Finally when she was about 3 1/2 she started peeing. But poop? Hell to the NO! She refused, held it.... it would leak out... I used to put panty liners up the back of her underwear. It was a mess! FINALLY with about 2 weeks until school started she finally went and has ever since.

But it was hell.

I wonder if it was all the pressure... My mother says she had all of us kids trained by 2 years old. Yeah... riiiight. So when Brooke Lynne was 18 months old, I was newly pregnant with Amanda... I bought her some panties and a potty chair. Then I gently urged her to go. Then I asked, begged, pleaded.... you get the picture.

So, with Amanda I took a different approach. Casual. Every time I mention it, she gets mad. Seriously, mad at me for bringing it up. Too funny. So, I don't know how I am ever going to do this.

I bet it takes me a year.

She has peed on my floor twice already this morning.

Um, nope... make that 3 times.

My Amanda

2007-03-03T10:36:00.000-08:00

Man, I had no clue as to what love really was until I had my kids. I had great pregnancies, both times. And I was happy. So happy and lucky. I knew I waited until pretty late in the game to start having babies... but I felt like something was missing. I really did. It was almost a physical emptiness. For the longest time I thought maybe it was because I hadn't had any children. Then I had my first baby and I knew.

That was exactly what was missing.

I always said that if I ever had kids I wanted a girl first and then a boy. After I had my daughter, I knew I wanted another girl. If there was a way to choose I would have asked for a girl. And as luck would have it, I had another girl.

I never had a moments hesitation about having my babies. And after each child was born I was elated. Thrilled. I rode on a happiness wave that has never crashed. I love being a mommy to my two girls. I am truly blessed.

I am so happy that my girls have each other. Sisters. I never had that. A sister. Or even a close relationship with my mom. I think that's why I ended up having girls. So, I could learn and build a foundation and an understanding that I never had before.

Today is Amanda's birthday. She is 3 whole years old! We are doting on her just like any other day. Spoiled little brat... speaking of which, I went crazy with the gifts again. But she deserves it. She is a bright, funny, smart and beautiful little girl. She loves to have her nails painted and screams and cries every day when I have to brush her hair. She plays with her toys from the moment she wakes up until she tumbles into bed.

She likes to do her own thing and be independent. She is so affectionate, her hugs and kisses are fierce and full of love. She is so articulate, she has been carrying on conversations since she was a baby. Always one to get her point across, and don't cross her or she will whip your butt...now where does she get that from?

This is my baby and I love her with all of my heart.

Radio Edit

2007-03-01T10:25:00.000-08:00

I spent yesterday ripping, burning and importing stuff onto my ipod.

I loves it.

Just a tiny little thing. Holds 250 songs. Really that's all I need.

I put it on and magically I cannot hear my kids anymore. It's nice. They are squabbling again? So, I got STP blasting... WHAT? the curtains are on fire... Again? Big whoop. I am jamming out to Outkast. And trust me them boys are diiiirty.

Just the way I like it too.

I don't know if it's just the uncensored version of songs or it's having them singing it right in your ear, but I am hearing all kinds of things you don't hear on the radio.

Well, I have a stack of cd's calling me.

Coming.

Off the menu

2007-02-26T09:33:00.000-08:00

I've sat down to post with absolutely nothing to write about. That seems to be the gist of it these days.

So, lets see....

My kid got back her Ident-A-Kid card today. It's a card they make up with her stats, photo, fingerprint etc...just in case something bad happens. My God, that is my worst nightmare. I cannot even complete the thought... anyway, she took a HORRIBLE picture for it. She had that look on her face. You know the one... the *I don't like this guy who is taking my picture* face. It's pretty bad. I was kinda pissed at her :) Anticipating this, that morning I told her to SMILE. To fake it. Nope. It shows on her face. Just like her momma. I can't hide that shit either.

Well, no more screaming matches between the husband and I. We learned our lesson on that one. I JEST! It was no screaming match. Just some yelling that traumatized our 5 year old. Lesson learned, duly noted.

Moving right along...

I took a couple shots of our new little family member... We named her Olivia. Yes, her poo is slimy. But I can deal with that. She is so cute... and pretty cool. And eats a LOT!

Hubbys idea of dinner. Yeah, I don't cook much. Shake and Bake it, Baby.

So, my youngest is almost 3 years old! March 3rd.... Wow. I can't believe I haven't worked a job in over 3 years now. Man... I need to get a life.

The jewelry thing is SLOW.. I sold a few designs to a few random buyers, but that's about it. I am thinking of calling up this local pricey shop that sells handbags and funky jewelry, (yes it's my dream store) and see if the owner would be interested in some of my designs. I was thinking I could don my power suit and schlep my stuff over there. First I have to convince her to take a look. I should be on the phone, calling....

Plus a lot of other things I need to do. Never a dull moment.

Seriously.

Holla!

Get In The Ring

2007-02-23T14:32:00.000-08:00

Luckily I am married to my best friend. Passionately in love with my soul mate. We've known each other since we were 15 years old. Been together for nine years this summer.

Wow.

I have to say, it has been good. Very good. And we are lucky, very lucky.

And extremely compatible.

That said...

We needed to have an argument. A fight.

Big deal, right? Couples fight, argue everyday. I used to have huge screaming matches with my ex. Used to break shit and shove him.... get shoved back. You know.

My husband and I do not fight, argue or bicker. Things just gel, flow... for the most part. Sometimes we'll disagree and trust me, we let each other know...

But fight? Nope.

Where is all this leading?

Last night after the kids were in bed, we had it out. Loudly. And for almost an hour. I missed the entire episode of Survivor *sob* (That's okay, I'll head over to Beej's and read her brilliant recap)

My point? During a quiet moment.. I heard a little voice say

"I have something to say..." (it was our 5 year old)

We gasped, looked at each other wide eyed....

I said... "What"

"I am TIRED of this..." she said

Holy crap!

We felt HORRIBLE! And behaved badly and the poor kid was like, sitting in there wondering what in the hell was our problem. We have never done that before. Argued, let alone fight in "front" of our kids. Even though they were in bed "asleep" they could totally hear us.

Gah!

So, I am like, what do people do? When you have kids and need to argue.... I am not an advocate of fighting, but in this situation it really cleared the air (it was all stupid shit, nothing earth shattering) but it HELPED, a lot!

But seriously... what do you do? How do other parents handle this?

Oops, I did it again...

2007-02-20T07:44:00.000-08:00

No! Not shaved my head, although back in the 80's we used to shave parts of our heads. And bleach the rest and tint it black.

Gah.

Nah, I got another pet. Stuuuupid, I know. But I just couldn't get over the loss of my turtles. I loved those loveless little bastards. I didn't care that they didn't like me back. That they ran and hid from me when I'd feed them. I loved them dammit. 'Cause I was dysfunctional like that. But not anymore... I got me one of these!

Not this one exactly but pretty close. I just didn't feel like hauling it out for a photo shoot. But I will... because mine is so much cuter. Anyway, it is a tiny little baby. Pretty hilarious to watch it walk across the floor, looks like a little GI Joe helmet skidding along. Scary too though because it will get to be huge! Like over hundred pounds possibly 150 even 200! Ha! Of course it takes years for them to get that big. By then we'll have our new Mansion in the hills and we can build it a cool area out back. It's an African spur side (Sulcata) and it cost $130! It had better not fucking die.

That's all I havta say about that.

So, not much going on, I have just been BUSY with all the usual stuff. I have blown off updating Celebrity Rant more than once lately.... Sometimes, I think I will let it go, then someone buys ad space and I have to keep it up.

I keep saying I am going to sit down and start writing more then the next thing you know my day is gone! I thought I'd have more time now that one kid is in school. Nope, not even close.

So, I am outta here.

Something Pretty Scary

2007-02-14T14:41:00.000-08:00

Pretty...

Scary!

Okay, so the flower arrangement is a little scary too... I did it myself (obviously) I was afraid I was going to bash the hell out of them (the flowers and the children) a 3 and 5 year old saying "Are they ready? Are you done? C'mon momma! We wanna sniff them and kiss them and lookit theeeeem. Huuuuurrry!"

My God ...the pressure. I couldn't take it.

So there you have it.

Oh, the finger. Man, looks like someone is going to lose a nail.

Dis

Gus

Ting.

That'll teach her to pick her nose/butt/toes.

My Story, My Life

2007-02-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

First off ....my avatar cracks me up. I "pinched" my face with photo shop. Hilarious. Every time I see it, I nearly LOL.

So, my poor kid has a sore finger. I have no clue as to why, it just is. Very painful and infected. Who knows what type of buggy germ crawled in there from that nasty fucking preschool, ha! Just had to get that in there. Anyway, it's like, yucky. We've been treating it ourselves. Soaking it in peroxide and neosporin. It actually got better... but I looked at it this morning and the nail (ew, shudder) looks almost um, lifted. That did it. I called the doctor. I told her last week that if it wasn't better by Monday, she'd have to go... it's painful, she won't even let me touch it. I am naively hoping that the doctor will just LOOK at it and maybe give her some antibiotics or something. If they have to mess with it, it is not going to be a good thing. AND she only likes to go to the female dr. and she is out until Thursday. Can't wait 'til then we are going today! Great. This is gonna be FUN! (NOT) My poor baby...

So, a lot of stuff has been going on... but then again, nothing much. Most days I can't think of a thing to say.... then other days I could prattle on for hours here about mundane crap. But isn't that what blogs are about?

So, what to blog about? I was thinking about going back to the start of my husbands and my relationship. THAT is one hell of a story, at least 50 chapters (anyone remember the 12 chapters of my grandma died and my family sucks, saga I wrote?) I think I lost a few readers back then... but I saved all that and someday I will go back and reread it and be glad I wrote it.

I dunno. There is a whole lot of stuff that I've never even touched on. Blogging is weird like that. We show what we can.... Me? I am an open book. But still.... I dunno how interesting it would be. I think it was some crazy shit back then especially compared to life as we know it now.

In any event, what ya'll dooooin' today?

What the hell?

2007-02-12T05:41:00.000-08:00

I just spent 5 minutes trying to rewind a DVD.

Focus!

2007-02-08T06:34:00.000-08:00

I should be updating Celebrity Rant. But I am not in the mood.

I am restless. Not really bored, just don't feel like being locked into any one thing for more than a minute.

Notice my Skraps...

He is laying on the afghan I just finished. I put it there and he jumped on it as soon as it hit the chair. Yeah, sometimes I crochet. So? Wanna laugh? Go ahead. I don't have a fucking job ya'll. Haven't had one in over 3 freaking years.

Something has got to give.

I love to make the jewels. But business is slow. I actually sold 4 designs this week and I was thrilled! That means I can go buy more shit. And make more shit.

I have these 4 Care Bear cross stitch things. I actually finished one. Tenderheart Bear to be exact. I still have Wish Bear and Bedtime bear.... I was working on Funshine Bear but I was having a rough time settling down to count that shit out. It's counted cross stitch and it is a bitch. You start with a graph chart doohicky and a white piece of material that has these teeny tiny squares. Then you follow the pattern and put the little x's where they go...

So, I go dig it out of the closet and go sit down with it. And....I can't see the squares. One of the overhead bulbs was burnt out. So, I drag over a chair, climb up and put a new bulb in... Still, those fucking squares are TINY. It has been over a year since I worked on it. It was just sitting in my closet.... But I could see those little squares just fine last year.

Now? Not so much.

I have always been thankful for my excellent eyesight. But those little squares? Could hardly see them.

So, I convince myself I might need a little assistance. I inquire of Hubby... Bad idea! He laughed at me. Bastard :) In site of his smirking...I said that maybe I could use a tiny bit of magnification.

So, he took me to Kmart

...yeah, that's how we roll.

I picked out a pair of "reading" glasses thinking this $12.99 is a waste. Bring them home, put them on and look at my hand. Why I felt the need to "see" my own hand I have no clue. But I focused on my wedding rings. I have a marquise diamond surrounded by baguettes. I love it. So, it was sparkly and beautiful as always. I lifted the glasses and said whoa. It did not sparkle as much. WTF? I put the glasses on look again and I can see each individual diamond. Lift the glasses, diamonds blur together. Look again
...all clear.

By this time I am crying inside, well, not crying ....maybe sniffling... a little.
My husband is laughing. Says I'm getting old.

Maybe he's right.

Because I played flip the lens about 50 times and yes, those diamonds were clearer... I put the glasses back in the case and stuck them in my craft bag with the Care Bears.

*sigh*

And I am outta here.
Just. Like. that.

The Booty Shake

2007-02-05T07:47:00.000-08:00

I haven't been blogging as much because I have been doing a lot of little side jobs around the house. Taking on a drawer, closet, cupboard... here and there. I am big on throwing crap away. I will drag a trash can over to a closet and fill it up. And I never miss the shit.

So, I was digging through our closet and found a bunch of tapes from when Brooke Lynne was a baby. I am talking 4 months old! Man, she was so chubby and bald! It was so weird to see her as a baby. Just sitting there all chubbed out and not talking... You could see those wheels turning though. These days she talks non-stop... And she is tall and skinny. And she has cute feet.

Lucky girl.

Amanda is suddenly taller and she has lost a lot of her little chubby rolls too! She does this hilarious thing after her bath... she grabs the door way and shakes her booty. Then she runs around the house stopping at all the door ways to shake her butt. It is adorable. I got THAT on tape and I am sure she will appreciate it when she is 15. Ha!

So, that's about it... not much going on.

Just the way I like it.

No drama for the momma.

Holla!

Privacy Please!

2007-01-31T10:08:00.000-08:00

Once again, I am concerned about the school my kid is attending.

Once again my kid was in the bathroom with another kid. Why? Because the "teachers" are not watching. Why? Because the rules state that 2 teachers/aides must be in the classroom at all times when you have a class of 11-18 kids. There are 18 kids in her class. One aide does most of the work and there have been many, many days where that aide actually taught the class.

They have went through 2 teachers already in addition to the one that just fills in... another one was introduced and was supposed to start teaching but never appeared. I have noticed that when I drop off and pick up at random times that almost never are there 2 adults with the class. Mostly they are out on the playground with just the aide and the teacher is preparing lunches. Or the aide teaches "circle time". Many days my kid comes home and I ask, who was your teacher today... she replies "Oh, just Miss A" Excuse me?

Anyone who read the old blog will recall the whole picnic table fiasco... Not to mention the first week she saw Matthew's penis. This is a kid that didn't even know boys had different private areas, until now. Then she saw it again...

Now today, she and this girl (who I do not like for multiple reasons) were in the bathroom for a long inordinate amount of time... When I picked her up the aide said my kid was instructed that she was not to be in the bathroom with other kids. Hello? No shit. Kids do not need to be in the bathrooms together any fucking way.

The problem is that they have two toilets in the bathroom. Next to each other, no wall or door between them. Once I came to pick her up and she was in the bathroom peeing away, the door wide open and one of the little girls from the "baby class" was sitting there peeing too. Is this normal? Do they allow kids to use the bathroom together? Why do they have two toilets in one tiny room?

I understand kids are curious. I don't think anything other than actual bathroom stuff is going on, but seriously what the fuck? I guess today this other kid (whom I cannot stand) "made" my kid wait in there while she took a shit. Excuse me? Again... wtf?

Oh yes... I went over the entire thing with my kid. I told her that bathroom stuff was private just like your private area. And that it is not nice to hang out in the bathroom while some nasty little girl is taking a shit (no I didn't say that part) but you know what I mean.

UGH.

I can tell that this post is rambling but I am really over the lack of supervision. I know my kid is not perfect, I know that kids get curious, but I also know that a lot of bad shit goes on at other people houses and who knows what else. And this little kid that has latched onto my kid is rather.... um, how can I say... well, she is not exactly the kid of kid I want hanging around.

I know it will be a long hard road full of kids that I will not like. Sometimes when your kid figures that out, their choice of friends seem driven just to piss you off. So, I am being careful. But still.

This shit pisses me off.

Any suggestions? Am I overreacting? Is this normal stuff? Does it get better when they get into kindergarten and they have more structure and "real" teachers?

TMI, I know...

2007-01-27T15:36:00.000-08:00

Yes! My gyno tests came back negative.

I was sweatin' it too....

Back when I was pregnant with Amanda (my almost 3 yr old) I had a pap smear come back abnormal. I had to go through a lot of shit while I was still pregnant for her. Then the follow up was pretty extensive. Finally everything was all clear.

I was supposed to follow up in 6 months.

*ahem*

...almost 3 years later I finally went in. Only because I was having ovary and uterine pain (dontcha love my subject matter?)

And I got a little card in the mail today saying everything was fine.

Huge relief.

Whew.